“Ache” – depression and the right to assistance

What depression is different from fatigue and sadness, who will help the woman who gave birth, whether there are “iron” people and how dangerous the advice to “not Noah” – the family psychologist Ekaterina Burmistrova on how to recognize and prevent depression.

Photo: covildadiscordia.com.br

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It took years to get

– How to understand what depression is and how it differs, say, from simply fatigue, or bad mood?

Ekaterina Burmistrova

– Let’s try to understand the definitions. There are state subdepressive when a person may be depressed, but not disturbed sleep and generally have the energy to live. With these conditions a person can handle by himself or with the help of psychologists.

The man needs a rest, or a change of lifestyle, change of load, it is useful to understand the goal setting. And if a person is depressed, no matter how much he rested or replaced by the load, neither went to travel, the easier it will be.

In a state of clinical depression need the help of a psychiatrist.

Depression – an acute form of mental illness characterized by severe clinical symptoms are: constant depressed mood with dark thoughts, loss of interest in the surroundings and the appearance of suicidal thoughts.

A person in depression, no matter how little he or sleep – difficulty falling asleep, sudden night waking, when I want to sleep, and sleep no longer work. Situation joy do not appear at all, and no energy to live. And further, the more a state is deepening.

Depression is endogenous, for no apparent reason. It occurs when a person’s life like anything special, difficult, stressful occurs. And sometimes situational, reactive, it is associated with a period of stress, difficult emotions. People seems to be first consulted, and then, on the background of lack of resources, became depressed.

There are a large number of diseases that have a side effect of depression. Very often people don’t know what they’re experiencing, is associated with a particular disease, for example, malfunction of the thyroid gland. But this kind of depression will not be considered.

Depression is indeed a disease of our century, to the end not clear why. Depression is particularly prevalent in people during the crisis of middle age, teenagers. Single story – maternal depression during the first two or three years after the child’s birth or immediately after birth.

– As a person not to miss the moment that he began clinical depression?

– When a person is depressed, he has so little strength that it is difficult to ask for help and he often does not see their illness. Here the alcoholic doesn’t see his addiction, he feels that he can easily stop. The person in depression can often seem that it is just such a band, or that he kinda made a mistake, or the world is unfair to him, or he lost faith… And in the end, the condition worsens, he can’t just anything to do with beds can not stand, go out on the street. All strength is gone.

But to the point, behind which there is medication, people can at least understand what is serious?

– People, especially men, often do not believe that if time does not restore the resource, and then have a long time to collect myself.

Very often the advice coming people, who at some point just tore myself: loads of ambition…

If I knew then how it will cost and how much will need to get out, I would have never took on a third project.”

That is, the first subdepressivee signs – indicators that something must change, something goes wrong. Generally their conditions that do not occur single, and are on the rise, should be treated very carefully. We have no such culture, we have grown used not to take care of, overcome the symptoms of colds, fatigue, mental exhaustion. Often people who find themselves clinically depressed, themselves driven. They could stay, and their loved ones to help with this, at the stage of subclinical depression.

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Sleep mode and 40 minutes a day for yourself

– A large family – they have mortgages, loans for two cars, children need attention… How to stop?

– You need to clearly understand that this is not a sprint but a marathon. And if mom or dad breaks down, the family situation will turn more expensive in every sense, than some rest, a change of the load.

I know many situations where the mother is in the hospital due to overwork, processing. She didn’t pity himself, took pity on the family resources, for a nanny, did not dare to call once again to help…

At the first sign of subdepressive need to change the mode, including sleep mode. If a person regularly sleeps four, five or six hours, in this mode he can’t handle. So first of all you need to start sleeping.

On matter how much the person moves. Because this condition can be related to physical inactivity, especially in autumn and winter. During this period, the depression can manifest itself not only to those who are primarily emotionally inclined to her, and just because people have changed the way of life – a lot of the load, the movement is little. Plowing a lot, a little joy. Especially if it’s a large family. It ought to be protected.

And usually the benefits or resources that are earned in processing, they are eventually useless, because the person burned, it is impossible to communicate, he can not give anything to relatives.

Yes, the welfare of the family is very important, but it’s equally important not to beat yourself up over a a limit. It is very difficult to hear hyperfunctional, but necessary.

– The man realized that he was overwhelmed, tired, need to rest… But he can’t, leaving all their Affairs, and take leave for a few months to relax?

Is extreme. First you need at least half an hour to forty minutes a day, especially in families with young children when you are not working, not going anywhere, not doing anything, preferably not hanging in social networks. Hygiene is low, but people just can’t think of what he needed. As needed and doing something for themselves. Then, when the person understands that almost to the limit, begins to think: “But I’ve generally had nothing to do for many years and had forgotten that I love.”

Born a woman is not good to be alone

Postpartum depression is associated with congestion of a young mother?

– Temporary post-partum depression (or depressive Blues) provoked another, not congestion, and hormonal changes. And this is exactly what you need to be prepared – that is the joy of many women in this period of depression. It is important not to reinforce hormonal changes congestion.

– As a mother, who had just returned from the hospital, you may understand that it is something wrong, if it is from morning to evening alone with a child…

– Must not be a young mother alone with a child psychologically. Born a woman is not good to be alone.

Of course, the husband physically goes to work, but now you can all the time be in touch – votsap, text messages, voice messages.

All about birth to a woman needs to be the support structure. I recommend to surround yourself not only with professionals (paediatricians, therapists and so on) that will understand, respond to, not ignore, but also people who have gone through this situation, that is mothers who gave birth a little earlier or much earlier.

The woman may realize that she had depression, and may not understand. Depending on how difficult the birth was, how serious the consequences if there are any problems with lactation, calm or restless baby. This is especially true for first-time mothers. It is important that the family was understanding, how is postnatal depression and when it is time to seek help.

– How to understand it?

– Postpartum Blues – tears for no reason, depressed people start very early, at the time of arrival of milk on the third or ninth day after birth. Then lactation is adjusted (if adjusted) for the sixth to seventh week, and, in principle, the emotional state should be aligned. But in order to not have developed the depressive condition, you need to surround the woman support.

I’m a big supporter of maternity leave and for dad. Usually a month rarely takes, though if the baby was born difficult and was a difficult birth, it would be better to take a proper vacation for a month to be with his wife. Because “in season” no rest will not work, if the wife falls into depression. In any case, it is important to take at least 10 vacation days and to be there with his wife, to support her, to check her condition, and in the care of the child.

Postpartum depression can cover not only the first child?

– After a vaginal delivery possible postpartum depression. And then even more puzzling: it seems that the woman knows and formal stress it less. But suddenly the body can not cope with hormonal changes. Plus the load. Very often a woman, feeling depressed, starts self-pity: “aw, come on! A family favorite, next to healthy children, you need to be happy, and I’m paying.” Do not do this. Postpartum depression is not the result of restored strength.

In order to avoid depression, you need to very careful and the early postpartum period and first six months of life with baby. We have almost completely lost the culture of caring for the new mother. In principle, a young mother the first 40 days must rest. And care needs to be imposed on other people – her husband, the women of the family. Now it is absolutely impossible.

But at least you have to understand that the slower the woman who gave birth to out in active life the more I gave myself to stop, especially if this is not the first child, the greater the chance that depression will not occur. There are very active people, who on the second day after birth is the burgers are grilling, wash the floors, strollers drag week children carry the mugs, and then not only physiological problems, but also in terrible condition because you don’t give yourself to recover.

Exit pregnancy, postpartum recovery is not a quick process, even if everything was successful. The body needs time to reset, and it doesn’t happen on click.

It is clear that the nurse not everyone can afford, grandma is also not always willing to help. There probably talking about the broader social environment.

In some countries it is customary to visit the woman who gave birth, to bring her home food, care for older children. We have this is impossible if we don’t organize. Although in reality or in the parish or among a wide circle of acquaintances there are people willing to help if you ask, if you say that you accept this assistance. To do this the woman interferes perfectionism and the idea that she needs to handle herself.

Depression and “iron” people

Modern priests are often concerned with the question of how to distinguish depression from sadness. Whether to give the parishioner the pastoral instruction about the depression or send to a specialist for depression?

– I have experience working as a psychologist for 23 years. When I meet a man and I have a doubt, depressed or not, I will send in parallel a consultation with a psychiatrist. I think if anyone sees what the other something resembling a depression, it is better to offer him this option, it is better to be more vigilant.

Generally, the term “depression” incorrectly decoded in this case, is a hindrance. Causeless tears, constantly lowered mood, altered personality, depression once cheerful person is a serious reason to be suspicious.

After the expert – a very reliable source of experience (although not the same, of course, as a person with a med school) – people who survived the depression of others. They have a trained eye, and they usually saw other depressed patients. They can tell: it’s not depression, just perhaps, save, take rest, reduce workload, and this is Yes, definitely depressed. After all, when deployed clinical picture in humans, changing opinion, changing the character of the movement.

It is important to understand that depression can develop to the point where you need hospitalization. A psychiatric hospitalization is a very difficult story.

– It happens that the depression was for both partners to be here?

– We return to the question about the environment, about specific social relationships. The more isolated life from people, the more likely that it will be viewed. But still there are some relatives, friends, colleagues. In General, there is one cure subdepressive States is communication, yet people can still communicate. When a person is depressed, he can not do it, he has no strength. Another sign of depression. There are no forces even on what used to be happy.

Photo: Hsin Wang

– How to deal with this feeling that we need to overcome, “that people used in hard conditions lived, and I’m screwed”?

– The idea that people can be fragile and will not survive, it is very difficult to take root in the former Soviet Union, where long cultivated the ideal of the iron men. Hence: “What whining, that earlier times were any, survived, and then…” you Have to understand that depression is a disturbance of neurochemistry of the brain, something goes wrong at the level of physiology.

Because of the desire to overcome themselves, to push, in the hope that it will be a better person in the end falls into a pit of depression from which it is difficult to get out. And when someone says it’s not you bad, and you were sick, you here is a violation, it’s not your fault, it happens, he’s getting better. In the sense that the liability arises out of the understanding of the disease should be treated.

Now there are medications that can be matched only by a specialist, and they allow you to improve the condition.

But this process is not fast. It’s a cyclical story, and must be very careful the first year or two after the depression to monitor the loads and the atmosphere in principle. If there is depression, then there is some fragility, some inclination, some, such vulnerability, she will not pass after the course of treatment. You need to build a lifestyle with supports.

It usually can, especially mothers, coming from post-Natal depression. Then they are able not only something to make this horrible condition not to be, but also to help others. To say, “Well, what are you doing! You diaper Pat. Don’t diaper to stroke, lay, and lie down, read a book while the baby sleeps”. Or: “are You the child on the three circles driving at night crying, don’t. So just give up, sit, watch TV shows. Do something that you would be restored”.

Sometimes to get out of the depressive situation, you need to recognize the difficulty of their own life choices.

It may be a child with a disability. It could be a number of children. This can be a ambitious education, or some work. That is to allocate the stress and admit that Yes, you’re difficult.

In fact, the reaction of support from people around can be much more than people assume. It turns out that there was a lot of people in a similar situation. It is important to seek supportive community, where you are going and share the experience of those who have been in similar situations.

But in General the depression we didn’t talk so much, must be much more publications, programs and recommendations, moreover, it is necessary to develop support systems.

In Paris, the most deprived district, open round the clock nursery, where a woman, if she’s really tired, any time of the day can bring the baby for a few hours without any clearance. And the woman appears to be simply an opportunity to sleep and maternal depression are often associated with lack of sleep.

So, I repeat, the first step is to recognize their own right to help…

Link to webinars and online conferences Ekaterina Burmistrova:

http://burmistrov.school.tilda.ws/garmonichnoe_nachalo

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