As soon as the bride and groom cross the threshold of his house, they find themselves face to face with the question: “to assess the distribution of family responsibilities?” One of the reasons for the turmoil in family life is the reluctance of spouses to fulfill their role in the family. And it can have catastrophic consequences for marriage.
There are four main types of roles in marriage:
1) Patriarchal – implies the unquestionable leadership of her husband.
2) Matriarchal – wherein the wife takes on the role of the leader as head of the family.
3) Solidarite – in this case both husband and wife are trying to manage a family as two chapters and two of equal authority.
4) the Struggle for power – the husband and wife are fighting each other for the role of leader.
But what this says about the Bible?
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church: and He is the Saviour of the body; but as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it;… So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:22-25, 28).
Many wives raises the question: does a wife have to submit to any desire her husband? Also men are asking the question: what should manifest my love to your wife? The answer to these questions also gives the Bible, “submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Ephesians 5:21).
Obedience is the essence of all Christian relationships. Jesus Christ submits to His Father. But He was never compelled to obey, He obeyed willingly. Also in the family: not about the relationship between master and slave in question, but about relationships, based on mutual concession.
Mutual submission is possible only under condition when spouses respect one another as equal individuals. If a weaker person give up under the pressure more powerful, it is not discipline, and suppression. Because of the fact that Jesus Christ was absolutely obedient to the will of His Father, did not detract from His dignity and His position of equality. It is to this type of relationship should seek couples.
Looks like in practice Union based on mutual submission and support? In this Union, both spouses voluntarily waive the absolute right to dictate and to demand its execution, does not insist on his point of view as the only correct one, and does not require unquestioning obedience. Rather, each manifests a willingness to overcome, to mitigate the differences until then, until you reach a common view on the problem.
In some cases, lead to be husband, due to his competence in certain areas. In other cases, the tone ask to be a wife. However, both spouses must be unanimous that the husband takes responsibility for the overall management of the family in accordance with the instructions of the Scriptures.
Although the Union based on mutual support, assumes the headship of the husband, but his role is not the role of the dictator. It can be compared with the President well-functioning organizations, each member of which is responsible for their area of work, and this is the key to success. So, the President works closely with the Vice President, his wife.
In God’s original design, the husband and wife had to live in absolute harmony with each other. Before sin arose, God was the Absolute Head of the house, and Adam and eve obeyed Him. Mutual submission was a natural way of life. “Then said the Lord God: it is not good that man should be alone; I will make Him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). God created man and woman to complement each other and, although the roles of men and women are different, they are equal in importance and both are necessary for the functioning of a healthy society.
In submission there is nothing humiliating, we must not be ashamed of this word. When we wasnae for yourself the biblical purpose of family relationships, based on mutual support, it becomes clear that obedience, the woman does not become lower than man, and that obedience does not mean unquestioning obedience. To the marriage was happy, each person should have the opportunity for development and improvement. This requires that everyone had the freedom to Express their opinion.
So, in a family where reigns mutual support, less disputes, quarrels and disagreements. The struggle for power disappears, and between the spouses establishes a closeness that is impossible to achieve any other way. The husband exercising headship feels like a real man grows his self-confidence. And the wife, feeling the love of her husband, learning the ability to obey will be different about herself and home. So, supporting each other, they will feel that their role enrich their relationship, their marriage brings true joy and pleasure. Children growing up in such a family, learn true respect, without which there can be a home, school, and society in General.