What happened in the Beslan school is not just something out of the ordinary or some kind of emergency, but such fierce trouble, believe that it was difficult even after all this happened. Now, it seems that perhaps no one should be denied human dignity, but sinners, still can not accept the opposite in terms of those individuals that perpetrated this horror. Probably not lived and has not grown.
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- Beslan. Life after death
14 years old terrible grief of Beslan. I don’t like tragedy, it is something feigned, it seems, is now over and everything will fall into place, but it’s completely inappropriate, and no word to describe what happened almost 15 years in a normal school in a small town in the Caucasus. Although, in General, no, probably, the word grief here.
They say that grief is something personal, experienced only by someone personally. I don’t know, I happened to be at the funeral I funeral a lot of people had to speak some words of consolation to the relatives of the departed, or simply to remain silent. Yeah, I’m not experienced in that moment those feelings that I was experiencing grieving, but I had the opportunity to be compassionate. The same happened in the Beslan school is not just something out of the ordinary or some kind of emergency, but such fierce trouble, believe that it was difficult even after all this happened. And Yes, this pain does not pass. Because time is almost not visible, and therefore passed unnoticed for so many years.
I was on the senior rates of Pedagogical Institute, we have just started practice in schools. The news of the hostage taking in the Caucasus on 1 September for me was not any special news, the region is complex and the tension there was always, moreover, not so long ago right next door was the Chechen war.
However, with regular and frequent news releases it became clear that there is something very scary. And when it became clear that this is a school with children, and that move in some incredible conditions, when it became known about the execution of men, I very much felt that the bottom is not just pierced, and that out of some terrible abyss crawled something unbearably horrible. And found it kind of odd dozen villains with weapons and explosives.
Now, it seems that perhaps no one should be denied human dignity, but sinners, still can not accept the opposite in terms of those individuals that perpetrated this horror. A human can not and on any other criteria is also difficult. Probably not lived and has not grown. Although I understand that they may have first uttered the word “mother”. How, why, and where evil has taken them to bring many years for this line in the Beslan school. Me this question the answer is not to find.
And third, returning from the Institute, I turned on the TV and saw live, and it seems that it was exactly the explosion occurred. I don’t remember what it was channel. She cried out, started a strange movement, drove the car and shooting, scary, long, continuous shooting. Really, really wish that this horror is over at least for budenovskogo scenario. At least.
But the news every minute, and every hour received worse and worse. And then it turned out that I saw something in the gym, where were all the hostages. And even I did not serve in the army, it became clear what happened, not just the worst, and that started the real hell, which will not just a lot of victims, and will be dead and these dead, because of their particular vulnerability are children. And it was that way.
What was it? Military, locals, men practically without any protection rushed to school under heavy fire. How many of them were killed in the back because the first was shot in the back fleeing children, and those who could, who was there, got hold of them, are closed. Dead commandos, who have repeatedly participated in the most difficult special operations, who knew how to act, what to do, because they died there not so much in the fight, in battle-namely, closing a children, bringing them from the artillery storm. And rage, rage through the terrible tears on the faces of everyone who was waiting for those terrible three days and stayed there. Believe that everything will happen exactly – it was beyond insanity.
And then it became known that all those days before the terrible explosion of the presence of hostages in the school was one unbearable torture. Water. Simple, ordinary water. They deprived people of opportunities, even though somehow elementary to keep your strength up. Dehydration painful even for an adult, what can we say about children. Because of that, and I remembered the terrible camp Salaspils. A place where tortured and killed children. I shudder to think about it and Yes, I probably did not reaching the stage of making all this mad grief, and Yes, it’s very personal, although none of the victims I never knew and was not even close to this now infamous city.
And surprised, although you could finish that there were those who for some reason found a causal link everything that’s happened. Somehow in transport or already somewhere on the street heard a casual conversation about what, say, many counterfeit products have been on the Beslan distillery. How is it possible to link? It turns out, it’s named for the fact that honest people with bad brandy watered. My God… what is that to us? Is it just the calm selfish is the limit and base? Of course, this is just one. I have seen and know many, many people who have suffered and endure this horror as his personal grief. But there were all kinds of Death and all sorts of healers and just scoundrels that as the scavengers flocked to the terrible human wound. And now I understand that if the devil had power to think of hell as he is, he couldn’t do it himself. But with the help of human hands and minds completely.
I don’t share the dead-or rather, it nevinnoubiennyh by religion, I remember them all. All nevinnosti. They are really sufferers. the parents, boys and girls, Christians are Muslims… whatever. Yeah, it doesn’t matter.
I asked and asked this question to myself: why? And find answer you can’t. But when people ask me, how could God have allowed this to happen, where was He? I can honestly say that I can’t find the answer to this question, but I’ll ask the questioner: and you, doing wrong, sinning, often objectively evaluate themselves, stop themselves, do guilty? Or then make a conclusion? Maybe better to ask: Lord, why didn’t you stop me? And I understand that this time, a strange and terrible life is not the end, not the end, not the fullness of all. And now I ask God only one thing: those who were there in this terrible hell in those very seconds, not snap, not deprive them of their arms, grant them Your eternal Light, and give us the opportunity to save at least some ounce of faith that we will survive this pain. Can get.
During the Liturgy today I uttered a doleful petition of the fallen martyrs of Beslan. And I suddenly thought at this point that the hand of my God in this most terrible moment was nailed with a death, a scary tree. It is beyond time. It always happens. Here, in this moment, even in the street the sun went down.
But it will be after the Resurrection. Will happen always. Only the stone needs to fall off already from the heart. And in the terrible moments of Gethsemane, Jesus, You, too, remained Single.