Neglected psychological help today are ludicrous, and refer her to psychologists – trend. Expensive, fashionable, public, Orthodox, and, of course, solve any of your problems – how not to make the wrong choice? On the Day of the psychologist myths about experts exposes Natalia Skuratovskaya.
Frame from the movie “Analyze this”
- The Confessor and psychologist: what’s the difference?
- Psychological manipulation in the Church how to recognize and what to do
- What we believe is sin, sometimes has a medical cause
- If you have not had a spiritual crisis, that’s bad news
- When the psychologist does NOT have to go
A good psychologist graduated from the best University in the country
The lack of proper education or take. But a diploma from a good University – not a guarantee of quality. To bet on pedsostav of the University, which trained psychologist, you can, but it is not a panacea. There are a number of educational institutions, in practical terms not inferior to MSU.
The universities provide basic education and skills direct work with customers acquired in the process. Is to figure out whether the psychologist additional training. With what methods it works? How long? Where he mastered it?
Of course, the education criterion is ambiguous. I know good specialists, basic education which was not psychological, but they graduated with a masters degree in psychology and has mastered a number of psychological methods. If the specialist diploma mediocre institutions, and further education is missing, you will be very lucky if you got a talented self-taught.
Services serious professional are expensive
There is no direct correlation between “good” and “expensive”. A lot of great professionals who work in charity projects, get paid, working in public institutions, or simply chose a pricing policy “a lot of money do not take.”
Expensive or not very expensive – probably characterizes the level of claims of the psychologist, the skills of self-promotion. If someone decided that his customers will be only oligarchs, it is not surprising that others prices seem exorbitant.
But in any case, the pricing affects the balance between number of clients and quality of work. And if the psychologist will be a lot of work, but to live from hand to mouth and will have the opportunity to develop and improve their skills, sooner or later its price will fall, no matter how talented he was.
A good psychologist is enough of one meetings in order to understand the problem and help
Clients often cannot tell the difference between counselling and psychotherapy.
If it is about a local issue if there are no serious injuries, OCD, and other internal obstacles, if the person is not lying to yourself, not lying to the therapist, there are cases that not only understand, but also to help people to solve the problem is obtained in a single session.
But there are plenty of examples where in one session can only approximately localize a problem and to get rid of the problem, it can take months and sometimes years. If we are talking about deep personal issues, the one who promises to help at one time – either a charlatan or inadequately assesses the situation.
Working with a psychologist a month, six months, a year, a client needs to pay attention to subjective and objective improvements in their lives.
For example, something weighed now not a burden, something did not work – was obtained, was at an impasse – he came out of him. The dynamics of change and determines how the expert is qualified and how his style of play suits the client. In psychotherapy, possible improvements, and the subjective degradation for short periods (a person is scared, anxious in the process, exacerbated by negative experiences). But most importantly, whether changing for the better the objective reality of the client?
If the only change for the better the mood (subjective change is, and no objective), the vital problems are not solved, and the problems are compounded – this is the case, when the psychologist “hooked on the needle”. By and large, the psychologist has one goal – to become a customer until there are new life challenges and issues.
A psychologist is able to solve any problem
There is some confusion in understanding who is the therapist and who is a psychologist.
Counseling usually helps to understand person with a specific request. For example, how to correct your behavior in certain situations, how to build relationships with children, how to overcome failure in career. Someone wants to use the keyboard to navigate in the priority of life goals. The result of counseling will be either getting rid of problems, or a qualitatively new level of understanding my life.
Psychotherapy focused on resolving personal problems, not immediate, and the system. They can be features of development, growing up in a dysfunctional family, life crises, who kicked the person out of the usual rhythm of life. The lack of energy and desire to do something, inability to cope with fears, irrational problem that are difficult to formulate words – all this activity of the therapist.
Obviously, not every specialist will cope with this range, because different problems require different training and skills. The individual characteristics of a specialist has not been canceled: one good one, another – another. Universal psychologists do not happen. Life is not enough to successfully prepare for everything.
If someone is taken to work with any problem, it usually means that the person is not highly qualified.
However, the responsibility for the choice is always “the buyer”. When friends and colleagues flood you with contacts and recommendations of psychologists – this creates a space of choice. But you have to choose yourself. Try to clearly define the problem, identify the problem you want to trust the psychologist. Some of this will help to avoid mistakes, and your friends – will help you not to recommend you extra.
A good psychologist always gives specific and practical advice
The psychologist should not advise, much less make decisions for the client. There are different areas of counselling and psychotherapy. The degree of directivity in them will also be different.
For example, in cognitive behavioral therapy the counselor can give specific instructions and algorithms of actions. In psychoanalysis and other psychotherapeutic directions give advice strictly prohibited. The methodology of this just does not provide.
A good psychologist helps to make an independent decision. Bad – to impose the only correct advice. And more categorical than the Council, the more doubt about the skills of a psychologist.
With real ACE relations and even friendship
In addition to the qualifications, professional experience and good feedback about the psychologist, there is a moment of subjective, partly an irrational choice. In order to be productive, must be friendly, trusting therapeutic Alliance.
If the client is experiencing emotional rejection, no matter how well-deserved the psychologist, is to listen to your intuition and leave. This does not mean that the psychologist is wrong. This means that this client is not suitable.
A psychologist often lay hope that he compensates for shortfalls in relations with other people, and once for the lifetime of the customer. It is noticed even the founding fathers of psychoanalysis. Freud described the mechanisms of the transfer, when positive or negative feelings and expectations of the client projects onto her therapist. Often, people expect that you will develop friendship, emotional closeness with the therapist. But in most areas of psychotherapy friendship with a client (while he remains a client) is not possible. In some therapeutic paradigms with the client not even allowed to chat in between sessions. There are areas in which legitimate certain relationship with the client, but in any case unacceptable confusion of roles.
For example, it is impossible to work with relatives, colleagues, people with whom we come into quite emotionally-Laden relationship.
With a good psychologist develop a productive, friendly, trusting relationship because without it will not work work. But that is no criterion of the quality specialist, this is the criterion of compatibility of client and therapist.
Friends bad psychologists do not advise
In conditions when there is no licensing of psychologists, and confirmation of the qualifications of the specialist – the responsibility of the customer, people want to insure. We appeal to psychologists with a delicate, painful, sensitive issues, so look for warranties, based on the experience of other customers that work with this psychologist helped solve their problems – right.
But friends do not always suggest psychologists whom I know personally. More often recommended known to them by hearsay. This may be a psychologist, whose lectures they watched at YouTube, I heard on the radio, just read the article. Try to find out if your advisers personal experience with this psychologist and how he is successful.
You have to be sure that the advice of friends no place for emotional dependence. Sometimes people may like their “so wonderful” psychologist because he skillfully knows how to build a codependent relationship with the client. Before people reach crisis, when idealization will turn into disappointment, a psychologist will be for them “the best”.
“Word of mouth” should not be deleted. Look for reviews and recommendations – the normal way, especially if you first encounter with psychologists, or have a negative experience and strive to recover from another failure.
If you are potentially interesting to a specialist, who advised friends, if you are considering, ask friends specific questions. What is good? How long has he worked? What is the result? If the work is in process – what objective changes for the better?
And the main thing that was Orthodox!
Among the Orthodox there is a certain distrust of psychologists. Remember the days when priests perceived psychologists as “competition for the souls of the flock”. In all seriousness I had to explain that psychology is not Satanism, not against faith, it’s all about something else. And still this attitude is not uncommon, although it is a Christian psychology a fact proved its right to exist and many priests and believers are familiar with it firsthand.
And yet, the religiosity of psychologist less important than the professionalism and ability with respect to the values of the client without imposing their own ideological attitudes.
“Orthodox” is not a criterion of quality. When someone emphasizes the fact that it is an Orthodox psychologist/lawyer/taxi driver/pediatrician, immediately there are doubts about the qualifications of this person.
Who have been located inside the Church, worked on the parish or diocesan level, are probably faced with situations where insisting on its Orthodoxy, one simply expects that he will be forgiven his professional imperfections: “I’m your, I’m Orthodox”. Yet the prefix “Orthodox” remains a cause for manipulation.
And in that case, if the professionalism of the specialist suits us, is to see how his belief system in harmony with ours. A good psychologist will not impose on the client your beliefs, but it may label them, say that for him personally unacceptable. The conflict at the level of values and beliefs is not conducive to effective counseling or psychotherapy.
If before believing, Orthodox man is the problem “how to choose a good psychologist”, then the best advice is – in the first place should be the professionalism and the second is respect for the faith and beliefs of the client and a willingness not to impose anything.
A good psychologist is public person
If people have time to blog, write books, publish articles, while actively working with clients and included in educational projects – he’s a superhero! First of all, it is a sign of the ability to organize your time, but it does not directly mean that the specialist in all respects superior to the less public of specialists. We have to see what is behind it – after all, 90% of the time a counselor can spend to promote themselves or hire other people to write his name. Public and nonpublic, associated primarily with the desire and skill of the specialist to be present in the public space. High-class specialist can not do all of the above, but not because he has nothing to say, but because he had no time or he is weary of the publicity.
But do not forget that publicity is always a possibility for the client to reduce risks. To see a specialist without showing desire to consult. Decide for yourself how much he is willing to trust to such expert and agree with what the psychologist says and writes. How controversial, from the point of view of the client, the beliefs of the psychologist, including religious, can also be found via its public activity.
Publicity is not a criterion in selection, but it simplifies the choice. After all, if the fruits of public trust, then you can pre-make the decision about cooperation.
All the troubles experienced
Don’t think we need to experience all the unhappiness to be able to help others. Everyone, fortunately, the supply of the troubles is limited. And it is strange to bring the work of the psychologist only to those troubles which he had experienced personally.
A good psychologist has empathy. This means that it can feel, to empathize with the pain of the client. It is important that the psychologist was the resource that can help the client to sort out the troubles through his experiences.
Agree, someone who only read about the problems, I will not undertake to work with them. Any issues need to penetrate, to enter, to plunge through specialized training and experience with a certain circle of problems, because personal experience is never universal, and to say to others “do as I do” will not work. For example, you can do prednisonum counseling, being in a happy marriage. If the specialist is familiar with family issues in family therapy techniques, thoroughly studied the problem and know what are crises and how they can be resolved, it is not necessary to start the divorce yourself, to see in practice how it works.
Each of us sooner or later is going through a certain mourning. The experience of one’s own experiences makes the psychologist more compassionate and sensitive in some matters. But compassionate and sensitive can be another way.
What to consider when choosing a psychologist
How to choose a psychologist in one sentence and not say. Still, good or bad professionals – a category estimate. For some, a good psychologist – someone who will effectively help to solve the problem. For others – who will provide maximum emotional support, carefully and delicately. For the third – the one who will play along with the client to agree with all his conclusions, speak in a pleasant way. The fourth will prefer someone ruthless and cruel as the surgeon, will not leave a stone from the old belief and custom Linux them in a new configuration. To choose a good specialist, you need to decide what criteria quality is important to you. But there are basic principles that should be considered in order not to make the wrong choice:
– try to decide what results you want to achievewhat you want from your psychologist;
– view open sources, ask friends, take a risk and look for professionals on portals dedicated to psychological care;
– among the selected employees to arrange a “competitive selection for the vacancy”;
– do not bet on one, not to be disappointed in psychology does; talk to several specialists before you decide who to go to for advice;
– go for a trial consultationto understand how you can work with this psychologist;
– trust your intuition, but check her mind;
– don’t be afraid to talk to a psychologist about your concerns, including when they first met.