“Give the word that the child will go, and I will do what you want with it” – why cerebral palsy “treat” violence

Fall in wide release, comes the film “Temporary difficulties” – the story of “healing” boy suffering from cerebral palsy, thanks to the forced “rehabilitation” of his father. Judging by the trailer, the man beats the child, even the leaves alone in the woods. Community “special” parents are divided: some consider this unacceptable, others justify the father on the principle of “beats – means, loves”. Rimma Yanushevich – mother of 5-year-old Roma with a diagnosis of “cerebral palsy”. She promotes non-violent rehabilitation and believes that “Temporary difficulties” is a crime against the children with cerebral palsy and their parents.

Rimma Yanushevich with his son Roma

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  • Rehabilitation of children with cerebral palsy: why is it a problem and what to do
  • My name is Vanya, I do not suffer from cerebral palsy
  • “Temporary difficulties”: whether cerebral palsy treated with violence
  • Cerebral palsy is, and the hero slices through the yacht with a babe

Some parents from this film shaking

– What do you think about the movie “Temporary difficulties”?

– We discussed the trailer in the community of parents of children with cerebral palsy. I thought that among us, special parents, may not be any support for this, but in reality, opinions are divided. I was always surprised by the fact that in our country a special parents use harsh methods of healing. Any abuse of a conditionally healthy children is punishable. Is the juvenile justice system, there are psychologists in schools which follow it. So why, when it comes to special children, we forget about why we have permitted abuse? When you have decided that it is impossible for normal children, special children? To be honest, I don’t understand.

I don’t know if you’ve seen different kind of videos on the Internet about what methods are used. I’m sure in some countries, in the U.S., in European countries it is simply impossible the existence of such practices, because any such treatment of a child is punishable. When I show them, they do not believe that is rehabilitation, not scenes of sadism.

Unfortunately, many people brought up in the way that beats – means, loves. This is our favorite saying. Analyzing the movie, the parents say, “Father did what he could. Could he raise a child, he was raised and thus showed him his love.”

But you disagree with them. And why, in your opinion, opinion is still divided?

– Special biggest fear of parents is that their special child, having matured, will not be able to serve himself. He will be forced to go out into the world where it will be tough to treat. These parents are willing to do anything to their child went, but he became independent. All, to the last line. Many write to me: “Rima, I’m against violence but if I was told that I need to do with your child to go, I would have done it.” They write to me: “Give the word that my child will go, and I’ll do anything, I’ll drown him, I’m going to leave him in the woods, I’ll torture him”.

And I scary this “will do anything”. More important to me that my child was happy. Not happy in a fabulous understanding of happiness.

Him and my happiness is to grow up without pain, without fear of each new day that begins with the thought “it is not clear what else is up with these parents”.

– Because this script that in the film, he’s unreal?

Is a fairy tale. Many parents write in reviews that this film tale is that there generally is nothing to discuss. But the fact that we understand that the film is unrealistic, and people who are not connected with that, will consider it as true, especially a prototype, see how it goes.

Also, let’s not forget about the PR. People energetically promoting themselves, creating the legend: “See, I grew, grew and I grew.” I was the first of his profession a marketer and understand that any legend in any company works very well. 100% this legend will work on Arcadia Zucker, who is allegedly a prototype.

– And how the film will affect parents?

The film subtly and according to the laws of marketing called “Temporary difficulties”. Any particular parent is going through a phase of failure diagnosis when he finds that it’s a temporary issue that is now something he can deal with them. Now something happens – rehabilitation or something, and all will be well. Any special parent seeing this movie, you have to think about whether this method is possible for his child.

As for normal parents, it is likely, for them and for our society this film a disservice. First, it gives misleading information about the diagnosis want to do, but a teenager who is in the state in which there is shown, in a few years will not look like the adult which it shows. There are no such methods are neither violent nor non-violent.

Second, and most importantly – after the film is not dedicated to the problem of people will assume that if your child does not go, you just it is still not very strongly pressed. You just don’t put it in such terms, he went. But our society and without, to put it mildly, is not disabled.

I would really like to believe that there is some deep thought that we do not see in the trailer. But what we are seeing now is rather cruel trolling against families with children. Like, we’re just not tough to work with them. So work and you’ll be all right. It’s awful.

When we talk about society we forget that in this society everything is interconnected. The people who will see this film and say, “should be Harder with these disabled people”, forgetting that we are all links of one chain. In this chain, the relationship to the grandparents – they, too, are often weak and helpless; it’s harassment in school.

What is the difference, the child sees the bad, or he doesn’t go, or it may be another skin color, or he is below everyone in the class, above all in the class? Children and then adults who have not learned to properly treat someone who looks different, will poison any.

– You want to say that this film is dangerous for all of us?

– I’m always trying to explain to those who said that disabled people should be treated forcefully: nobody is immune to it. Today, more and more of these children appear in families and not in families of alcoholics and drug addicts, but rather, in a very educated, decent, normal. Now officially in accordance with the who standards we care for children born with a mass of 500 grams. In most cases these children is cerebral palsy. We vyazhem, and then what? Then society accepts them such films. But violence just begets more violence.

Many parents wrote that even the trailer can’t see them shaking. They understand that now they will come out and they are 150 people will say, “You just don’t know how to recover your child.” There are a lot of moms who raise money for rehabilitation centers. And they so say.

We are now in Moscow, sitting in the center, where people in principle have the money, there are many opportunities for rehabilitation. If you move somewhere 200 km from Moscow, there is no money and rehabilitation as such either. The people living there, what will face?

If he does not walk or talk – he’s not human

– I would like to understand the boundaries of rehabilitation. In our country, rehabilitated on a “cure”. And abroad learn to live in this state normally. So, is it possible to cure? What can we teach the child, and what is unrealistic?

– If to speak specifically about cerebral palsy, there is a grading system – a five-point scale for assessing motor function. Perspectives from people with varying degrees of cerebral palsy are different: someone can be over time to put on their feet, and someone will sit or will hold back. It is believed that a child from one group to another is very rare jumps. But we have to understand that, in principle, possible.

In Europe much earlier than ours, began to use techniques that we call new. And this all methods of non-violent, very human, child-centered as a person, on his development. For example, conductive education Hungarian Pete. The method is to adjust a child with disabilities, using the maximum of its possibilities to social life. In Hungary it exists 70 years, and we call it new.

Methods of Feldenkrais and ABM for a very long time was not used in Russia because there was the iron curtain. Now the whole country practitioners of ABM 10 people in America hundreds of them, and Europe is full of Feldenkrais practitioners.

Method Halliwick – averabrite designed for separate and independent movement of the child in the water, there is 60 years, and we’re only two years ago, I met in Slovenia. He it swam.

– If these methods appear, it means that there is a tendency to improve the situation?

– I was born in 1973 and is enough to have lived under socialism. In the Soviet Union there was no sex and it was not disabled. Disabilities was equal to the sentence. Therefore, our system has always been for a cure. Still we say that parents are willing to do everything for the child was cured. Why? Because until now, the social life of children and adults in our country is very very difficult.

Abroad are aware that in some cases change anything. Yes, it would be better to do something, but he will still be in a wheelchair. It is necessary to adapt it to this. There is a child in a wheelchair, hearing AIDS, talking or not talking, barely, will always be accepted in society like a normal person.

One mom wrote a terrific review about the film: “Yeah, he did all of that, but, see, the person grew up.” This comment I think says it all, our entire philosophy: he grew up a man, and if he remained the same as in childhood, he would not.

Subcortex in the minds of our people sit, what if he doesn’t walk and talk, he’s not human.

When I write about non-violent soft rehab, I object to: “Rima, are you talking about? You understand that it is necessary to rehabilitate the child, and how, this is the second question.” However, I hope I haven’t wasted trying to do something and one day the situation will change.

Rimma Yanushevich

– Do you have any idea of rehabilitation in Russia is, as you said, 200 km from Moscow?

Unfortunately, the position of the parents there are very, very sad. Even no matter how many kilometers from Moscow, and it is important the existence of a developed big city nearby. Kazan, Ufa still on, but there is rehabilitation normal, because it has strong professionals. And over 200 kilometers from Moscow and the Moscow region, in some small towns it’s very bad. People or raising money, or doing something to themselves or the children they have not actually reabilitarea.

I asked the question to the Director of Domodedovo the state of the rehabilitation center “Childhood” if they know about the methods on the basis of Feldenkrais and why not use them. She smiled and said, “You know how much it costs”. The state, unfortunately, gives only the possibility of rehabilitation, for which there are already ready experts – massage therapists, physiotherapists, Vojta therapists. To prepare specialist Feldenkrais or ABM costs tens of thousands of dollars. It is clear that budget money will not do.

– Whether really in this case, some rehabilitation is available in our public hospitals?

– Some really. The idea is that once the child appears on the plot at the pediatrician with such problems, it offers free rehabilitation – paraffin therapy, massages, baths. It depends on the capacity of the health institutions and literacy specialist.

Unfortunately, we still have no unified method of working with children with cerebral palsy. For me it was a shock. Pediatrician not know what to do with such a child.

The only thing he has is his experience. He says: “I was a child, he was doing a massage (or anything write here) – and he got better.”

Parents can break out of this system, only having started to study something on their own. For example, the Association “Children-angels” organizes gatherings of specialists in different cities. Sometimes the cost of paying funds or sponsors of the big rich companies, but often it’s the parents ‘ money. We have, as you know, the rescue of drowning – the handiwork of drowning.

Rehabilitation is not always what you get

– Do you do rehabilitation since, as a son. It always was soft rehab?

– First we went the traditional way. It was never violent methods, but quite intense. Physical therapy sessions, for example, during which the child was given a big load. We did it as long as he has three years did not happen a generalized epileptic seizure. The ambulance could not come, and Rum for half an hour was unconscious. Thank God he came out of this state myself. But the attacks were repeated for a long time. Something we did not. As it turned out, the load was too high for him.

I began to study the sources, forums, social networks and stumbled upon a new method, it was then extremely rare, literally two specialists in Moscow. But it was what answered my understanding, how to improve rehabilitation: gently, gently, intelligently.

First, do not understand whether or not something with the baby or not, but after the first year, we saw the effect. The fact that 5 years is an important age in the life of a child with cerebral palsy. If up to 5 years no change in status doesn’t happen, parents often throw up their hands. It is believed that this is the verdict. And we have Roma after 5 years have learned myself, to go to the toilet, he swims well. And that’s all that is on the soft methods of rehabilitation. Now we need persistent classes, and very few specialists, so I decided to learn by the method of Anat, Baniel.

She lives in the United States, her method originated from other, more well-known. A lot of people that are associated with the rehabilitation, the sign of the Feldenkrais method. It was created over 60 years ago an Israeli expert Moshe Feldenkrais. This technique people recovery after various injuries, including traumatic brain injuries. He has worked with adults, but in the early ‘ 90s proved that his method is effective for the rehabilitation of cerebral palsy. In 1984, the doctor died, Anat, Baniel one of his students.

It was rebuilt exactly the Feldenkrais method for children with special needs, and it is not just about children with cerebral palsy, but also about autism, about children with various genetic diseases.

Rimma Yanushevich and Anat, Baniel

The child is given information about what he can do as he can to go beyond their capabilities, those given to him by nature or situation. And he learns from this situation out.

– Can you give specific examples of exercises?

– You can never say for sure that exercise will be affected so, for example, that your child will walk. The fact that the brain is not fully understood organ, receiving information, processes it and integrates into life the way he sees fit. For example, we Roma do legs, and suddenly it turns out that he knows left from right. Due to the formation of new neural connections information received by the brain is processed in the black box and then comes out of it in some processed form.

This may not always be what you want. For example, you ensure the child has gone, but the brain is an easier way for him. This particular citizen Rimma points to five year old rum – it was easier to first sail, here was his zone of proximal development.

Or, let’s say you are doing the exercise on the chest. There is the obvious – work with the breastbone releases the breath. But there is a benefit is not obvious: when the belly begins to move more easily, it forms the skills of the child, he learns new moves.

– Not very clear. You can read more?

For example, you want to ensure that the child bent legs, but you don’t work legs and chest. So sometimes people look at practice and don’t understand what he’s doing. The movements are so small that they seem to be some sort of charlatanism. But if you do touch your sternum and try very carefully, it’s very easy to move it in different directions, you will feel like you have everything working on the back, all edges. And children feel these movements, so friendly, so natural and non-violent.

You can work even in the game. I often say to the woman: “why don’t you now slowly make it to such and such a subject.” And he’s not reaching breakthrough 150 times, but slowly and only once. Studying this movement. Or suddenly I discovered that he had a bad turn the brush, “you now touch your nose. Now let you touch their hairs”. This is a very sensitive method, humane, and environmentally friendly, as they say nowadays.

Anat, Baniel and other practices tell us that some time they work with the child, even without removing it from the mother’s hands, so he got used and learned to trust an adult stranger.

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