“I personally sent the Bishop a photo of battered women” – the priests that it is impossible to cover religion

To the priest for confession or conversation came a woman who told me that her beating husband. What should a priest do in this situation? Their opinions are divided clergy.

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The priest can not let down the woman he beat up husband
Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko

Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko

Conflicts periodically occur in different families, and the priest we have to examine them fairly regularly. I in my practice, however, a situation when the husband beats the wife, had to face.

In any case, severe family conflict requires close attention, this is not a conversation one day. That priest asked such a question, cannot stay away and leave the man alone in trouble. He and the priest. It is intended to serve the people and help them. He performs worship, it is a certain number of hours a day, and he can devote sufficient time to the parishioner who find themselves in difficult life situations, try with it to understand the problem. It’s either the priest does his duty or he thinks it his duty to something else, but then he will have to answer before God.

It is unacceptable that the husband was beating his wife. It’s a shame, a sign of moral degradation. To explain to an adult that it is unacceptable to raise a hand against a woman, most likely to no avail – he did not prove it.

But the search for constructive, peaceful ways to resolve conflict is necessary. In some cases they actually find. You have to understand that husband. Maybe he’s just sick, and then it should be treated.

If the situation does not allowed, if the husband persists in his aggression or he is a sick man who refuses treatment, if not seen the prospects and the problem will only get worse, then the wife as a free man may file for divorce and end this relationship. But again, everything is very individual and straight from the shoulder here can not be cut down.

If the family has a beating and threat to life, marriage no longer
Archpriest Victor Demidov

Archpriest Victor Demidov

Single recipe can not be, because every situation is different. There are situations where a spouse suffers from severe mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction. The question then arises whether to continue to save the marriage, even married, if there is a direct threat to the lives and health of women, and often children and other family members.

Yes, the value of Christian marriage is Holy. But for me, the question of how this is a marriage, especially Christian marriage, when every day of the family violence? Sometimes I’m faced with the fact that women say: “Beats, father, means, loves”.

I his wife, his children – my daughter is 9 and 16 years had never touched. Not to say that I grew up in a religious family, but my dad and my grandfather, as I recall, did not allow himself to raise a hand against a woman. Used to fight, but to raise his hand, to insult, to trample even verbal – in our families, this was not. Under any circumstances a man can’t raise a hand against a woman.

If a beating if the threat to the life, already here there is no marriage. Marriage is what is sanctified by love. The basis of marriage put love as the basis of the Church laid by Christ Himself.

Here we shall love each other, there is no my “I” – I I husband or wife, only our. Even the decisions about any major purchase my parents, parents my wife and we now always take along already trying and children to bring to this question.

Come different women, with different fates. There are those who locked up those who pretends to listens, who hears and does not hear. Not all open the first time. I don’t think I’m a very experienced priest, I serve only 16 years old, or are a seasoned man, 18 years of marriage – it’s not much, but nevertheless, feel when a person has a problem.

Begin to talk – someone opens, and someone comes crying – help me, what to do. I try never to give advice, especially spiritual, I do not presume the will of man that the Lord has given us, to infringe upon. I try only to help people to find a solution based on the Holy fathers, and tradition of the Orthodox Church.

I do not accept any violence, the more spiritual, when one takes over another person and it begins to interpret, he should do so, and not otherwise, based on the fact that. We are not a monastery, parish life is a world with its pluses and minuses, joys and sorrows.

I personally sent the Bishop a photo of battered women
Archpriest Nikolai Sokolov

Archpriest Nikolai Sokolov

The subject of domestic violence difficult. It is not the first year is raised and discussed. We all know that domestic violence occurs, unfortunately, in the priestly families it occurs including.

I am sure if a man made himself in violence against the woman or his own child, Christian beginning in him begins to fade, if not already completely faded. And of course, we need not only to pray. The family should attempt to either normalize relations, if possible, or, if the person crossed the line, to divorce and live separately. Other way here.

If the question of the priestly families, then we have the hierarchy. You can always turn to him, describe the problem in detail. I myself had help when I was contacted by women, yielding photos with bruises. I personally sent them to the Bishop. Sometimes such measures are effective and men stop violence in the family. Sometimes, alas, it only got worse. It was different. But thank God, to such tragedies as the family Ugreshskaya the priest never came.

When I got the woman complains of beating her husband, I would never ask her to wait. Of course, in a sense, we all have to tolerate each other, because the Lord said, “in your patience possess ye your souls” (LK. 21:19). But patience patience discord. And is not only a limit to patience, there are certain actions that are punishable.

If a man beats a child if he beat a woman, we just have to stand up and take action to stop it.

This needs the word “patience” to understand correctly. Concerning myself, I can somehow tolerate and accept. But if we are talking about a woman who beats up husband, children, over which bullied, you need to understand that children suffer in the first place, including when you see a father beats his mother. Do not try to hide behind religion. Prayer can be a lot to cover, but not all.

Have Prepared Natalia Kostareva, Daria Rowena

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