The head of school security, “Stop the Threat” Leah Sharov explains what safety rules you must teach the child.
Photo: Brian Wolfe / Flickr
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The main mistake of most parents is that they believe that in order for something to teach a child or something to explain to him enough “serious talk”. Even better: a very serious talk. Ten or a hundred times in a row. This leads to the fact that all the advice parents children very quickly begin to ignore or even deliberately mean.
Stop talking, to explain, to intimidate, to punish, and to repeat many times the same thing. Instead, offer a simple step by step plan of home education security skills for preschoolers:
1. Tell your child who to trust and whom not to
Draw together “circles of trust”. Take colored pencils, let them draw the closest members of the family. Then draw friends and acquaintances, relatives, caregivers, nannies. This is the second circle of a different color. Then you can draw those strangers that you like and inspire confidence. And separately, those that seem suspicious.
In this figure we can show the child, for example, the degree of closeness: to hug, to kiss and stroke the child can only people from the closest circle (have a child choose your favorite color for the closest).
Politely greet and speak with familiar adults (here, too, it is better that the child chose the colors myself). But extraneous (bad or good does not matter) will be a neutral color.
It is important to teach a preschooler to the adult rule:
“We didn’t approach the other children, especially if next to them there are no parents. Adults are not supposed to touch and hug other people’s children, they have nothing to offer, not invited anywhere, don’t give and don’t ask about the child or about his family. And if you ask, then you can safely not answer, because educated adults do not communicate with other people’s children without the permission of their parents.”
This same pattern you can remember on a walk: ask your child to show passers-by that he likes and those he is not cute, and I’ll tell you why. At the same time and you can show those strangers, which can be approached if you need help, if got lost or something happened.
2. Ask and don’t tell yourself
If you want to explain something to a child, ask 10-20 questions on this topic. What do you think? What would you do if…? Who do you like from passers-by? Where would you run to in case of danger? How to cheat baby, do you think? Why criminals need such gimmicks? Looks like a bad person? And how good? Let’s see how it will behave with cunning criminal, so he paid no attention?
Already at the age of three with that kind of talk during a walk or game can accurately convey most importantly: there are people good and bad, good and evil, and the second always try to be similar to the first, because otherwise they’ll see and will lead to clean water.
And sometimes the opposite: an unpleasant, unsmiling people can be very good. Good people can sometimes be rude or to be rude, just had this mood. After a couple of such short conversations (always in dialogue, let your child thinks and comes to these conclusions), you can proceed to the next logical step.
3. Form together with the child “the image of the criminal”
If you see in the book or cartoon movie “criminal” (dressed in black, masked, with weapons), then pay attention of the child that such criminals exist only in the fictional world.
Ask why the offender did not dare to go out in a black mask, a black cloak and a gun in his hand. His own answer will remember you.
Please note that on the street there are always people and everyone has a cell phone that you can immediately call the police or shoot a suspicious person in the photo or video.
Show your child a surveillance camera. Let him understand that the real criminal will never risk it nor to look like something special, nor to attack others on the street. And then you can move on to our next point.
4. Encourage relaxed and confident behavior in dealing with outsiders
If a bad person wants him no attention, he has to act very secretive and does not look suspicious. What he can do, for example, to withdraw from a someone else’s child? How to start talking to everyone around thought it was not a strange uncle or aunt, dad or baby Mama? How will it behave, if the child will scream or run? Would he chase him or dragging?
What better shout out to all-all around just realized that it was a stranger? Let’s shout together, who is louder?
It does not matter, see if you and me if we would practice screaming loudly for the entire Park.
5. Determine with your child the boundaries of civility and practice the ability to say “No”
Excluded from communication of the sentence: “you must respect your Elders,” “How you talk with adults?”, “What do you think about the aunt?” Unquestioning obedience, restraint and a desire to “always be good” – not the best option education from the point of view of security.
Remember the rule of adults. They can make a comment, if a child misbehaved and violated their personal boundaries. You can ask if they need help, if the child is lost. Some grandmothers can of course start a conversation about anything because they grew up in a different time, so it was accepted. But now, in our time, no adult should not treat someone else’s child nor call him or ask him for help or service.
And if such an adult choice and starts talking, then it is possible and necessary to be impolite, because such adults is to be feared and even to educate. Answer: “I don’t know you and won’t talk to you” or “don’t talk to strangers”.
And if any adult tries to steal, even if it just touches – and you need to use two main weapons: quick feet and loud voice.
Shout loudly: “Help! I don’t know the man!” and run to the nearest safe place, where immediately call parents.
It is very important many times to draw the child’s attention to the fact that the main thing – to attract attention. Not to win, not to “apply the technique”, is not to hide, not to cry, not to bite or spit, and make a “noise attack”, no embarrassment.
6. Learn with your child important phone numbers and address by heart
At least two rooms. And home address by heart. And the name-surname-middle name mom and dad. At the same time and immediately we remind you that this is information about the inner circle, and it does not need to tell strangers if I need help.
7. Identify safe and dangerous places
Here we will help of cards with pictures. Draw together and kindergartens, schools and shops, and the metro station, and the bus with the tram, and garages, and construction, and the yard, the Park, and the road, and a pharmacy/Bank/beauty salon/cafe/restaurant. Then decompose into two piles: safe and dangerous. And then, on occasion, find them on a walk, on the way to kindergarten or to visit, on the sides of the Playground and just looking out the window.
In safe places, there are always people, and criminals more than anything are afraid that they will open and caught. That’s why they run away, if only to use two main weapons.
Important: to shout loudly and run fast. Then no one dares either to catch up or even come close.
Ask the child why? Let represent the right while walking, what would have happened if a boy now ran down the street screaming: “Help! Save! I don’t know the man!”
Recall the surveillance cameras, on mobile phones every passerby. Let the child be convinced that he can scare anyone, most importantly – do not be ashamed to shout loudly and run away, without hesitation.
8. Work situation home alone
Pluggable presentation and the game, because it is important to show and practice together. It is easiest to first show exactly how to answer if someone rang the doorbell, and parents aren’t home. (Some experts advise not to come to the door, but we believe that it is more dangerous because if some robber came to hacking, it can permeate into the apartment when nobody is at home.)
Show playing: “Say I am you, and you’re an outsider. You ring the doorbell. I come, I ask, who is it? Listen to the answer and say: “no Parents, but is coming soon.” And call – who? Right! Your mom or dad. Immediately, even if the person behind the door left.”
We do not recommend at this age to work out the situation from the “what to do if someone breaks the door” or “what to do if you were attacked in the stairwell or in the Elevator”. Three to five children it is rather scare, especially as children of this age we rarely leave one unattended.