“Ordinary does not take, and this is it?” – on the decision to adopt the family had three hours

“What a freak”, “to Whom it such is necessary?” read the nickname in the comments to the video, where the floor was crawling with boy without legs and with an unusual appearance. Then she decided that if I become a mother Rus, that will take instagram and will tell you about the life of her son. Now read by more than 130 thousand people. How to become a chance for the one almost all put a cross, and to teach others to see not only the appearance? “Pravmir” tells that story.

Rustam

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“What a freak”, “to Whom it such is necessary?”, “Normal children do not take, and this is it?” – read the nickname in the comments to the video, where the floor was crawling with boy without legs and with an unusual appearance. Volunteers once again tried through social networks to find Rustam family. Then nick decided that if I become a mother Rus, that will take instagram and will tell you about the life of her son.

Further the situation will only confirm, to the extent necessary. Adults on the street would whisper and sigh: “How is it SUCH a bore, and even left!”, and children to call Rustam “Dwarf-nose” and poking him with a finger.

Rus

“The decision to adopt Rus we had three hours”

Nick doesn’t know where she – a girl from a full family without brothers and sisters – there was a desire to take the child into the family. But early on the morning of 17 may 2017 Nika with her husband Yuri drove to Cherepovets. In the backseat lay a package with soft toys – for Rustam. All the talk about readiness to become adoptive parents, it would seem, in the past, but the closer the Navigator indicated the destination point, the more amplified the main feeling of recent months is fear. In the path of the couple Zlobiny spoke little, and came into care, I learned that today will be a half day, after lunch, employees go to a meeting and, therefore, time for the solution of Nicki Yura – three hours.

Seeing new people, Ruth buried her face in her hands and cried.

Then, together with the chief blonde she held in her arms – Zlobiny went to the Assembly hall, where there was a rehearsal for the holiday. A second attempt to get to know rescued toy rabbit with “nasty,” according to Nicki, laughing. But Rusu liked it – they began to laugh together. At this point, nick introduced Rustam dreads, her idea she will realize later.

18 may 2017 Nika and Rus

Before this trip two years nick wrote about the Rus website for adoptive parents. She found his profile in the database of orphaned children and was surprised that boy nobody was interested. With her husband, they passed the school foster parents, received a certificate permitting to adopt a child. But at the moment interfered with unresolved housing problem – the apartment was renovated, and the feeling of preparedness was not. But in the next conversation with the orphanage on the status of Rustam Nika learned that preparing documents for translation in internat.

We just realized that we’re his only chance, and Rustam must be saved. So went to meet friends, recalls nick. And when we are taken aback that the decision to report in two hours, in a little shock signed the consent form. Yura then said firmly that Ruse can’t stay here.

Two weeks later, they returned to Rustam, brought him new clothes.

The boy got dressed, silently gathered her things in a bag and saying “This is mine, give” climbed on a chair and began to cry – maybe I was scared.

The teachers shook his head: “You need to put a monument”, and nick with Yuri wondered, “Maybe brown character like that?”

Last day at the orphanage

In Moscow, home to the kopeck piece, returned in the evening and immediately went to bed. That night the couple Zlobiny could not sleep as all the children from the orphanage, the blonde rocked in bed – thus reassured himself. And in the morning woke up, began to eat Breakfast. “I have the feeling that he was always with us,” then say nick. At the moment Rustam did not know how lucky he is. About the orphanage he wouldn’t talk even once during the whole year, and for Nicki with Yura is still a mystery.

Blonde with Yuri before leaving the orphanage

“From the beginning I knew one thing – Rousse will have to vpahivat”

The story of Rustam to family Zlobin dramatic: he was born without a right leg (congenital underdevelopment of the lower limbs) and with a very bad case, oblique cleft hard and soft palate, by this defect looked like a hole on the face. A mother has written refusal, as Rustam was in the Cherepovets children’s home. To two years he ate through a tube, had two plastic surgeries, trying to get along with stenosis of the tear ducts is a condition when festering eyes.

In the first three months Zlobiny son around dozens of doctors. Rus was waiting for a large rehabilitation program, among the main points of which – to learn to walk and do not consider themselves “disabled”.

– Every parent chooses how and where to rehabilitate, what and with whom to engage. Someone sitting at home a year, hardly going anywhere, at least new and a minimum of emotions – nurturing affection. I chose a different approach. The makeup of the brain emotions, new sensations, new places, people, new attitude, writes nick on instagram.

– From the beginning I knew one thing that he will have to vpahivat to vpahivat more many of us. To learn how to walk on a prosthesis is work, very difficult, monotonous, exhausting, sometimes physically, but more mentally. Is there a place of compassion? I think not… pity interfere.

Especially with a child, a special child will show a weakness, you will regret, then it will be difficult to restore confidence. Well, I really hope that I will never, ever hear from the Russian phrase: “I can’t, I can’t – I’m disabled!”, “It’s hard for me – I have no legs”. He is not disabled! He has a prosthesis! It needs to go! It is the same as all! – it is embedded in his head.

The next year the Rus appear to have lived, making up for lost opportunities in an orphanage. In his plan for the week appeared massage, sessions with a speech therapist and defectologist, swimming with dolphins, skiing in the Studio for children with special needs, sledge hockey – all nick each day about instagram and posted a short video Rosinah classes. Here it is with tears trying to master the crutches, stubborn. Here, grunting, taking the first steps. With dad going for a walk. Here he put the prosthesis, already he’s trying to go, and then – osilivaet stage and rides his bike and scooter. And next photos of everyday things: Rustam buttoning jacket, strumming the guitar and sings, draws, decorates cakes, hugging mom and dad, eating ice cream and just laughing.

To do with his son, spouses Zlobin had to adjust their work schedules. Nick was the Director of a transport company – went-down post Jura – Manager-consultant in the store. Now they are working 2/2, one after another, and the total output – the day family.

This page is about the life of Ruth in instagram – not the glossy wall of achievements, and honest and detailed story about how hard it is a year old child every day to work on what for most people seems trite. But, it seems, with the love and faith of loved ones anything is possible.

Every day in instagram Nicki come new members, someone who admires and thanks you, and someone accuses family of excessive pathos, one woman actually called this way to tell about the life of Rustam “circus”.

For such charges Nika once said, “more far I do not care what they say about me. But when you start thinking to bear on my family, this is not acceptable, and I want to live quietly, without making for everyone to see pieces of our life”.

Now for the life of the Rus following 136 thousand people.

“You’ll see! He’s got a stick instead of legs!” – the children were laughing

Six months ago, Nikes almost simultaneously contacted the journal “gift of childhood” and the organizers of the project “When the wings are more important, or fairy Tale in each of us!” where children and adults with disabilities and their peers without features doing a photo shoot in fabulous images. So, Rustam began shooting life. His portraits appeared on the cover of the magazine, along with a dancer Evgeny Smirnov, he became the tin soldier, and another time tried on the role of a Pierrot – the image of the boy with a raised eyebrow came Rusu perfectly.

With Evgeny Smirnov

Nick is convinced that such publicity Rustam favor, he was recognized on the street, say “hi”. And she hopes it will help him in the future, when the Rus gets older and starts to understand that strangers are laughing at him and that his appearance is not the same as the majority. And while Rustam just having fun with them.

Once Nike with Rustam came to the center of public services.

– Is there a children’s room, it was attended by people of 5 children, all girls (about 9 years old and under). Went back blonde, and then it began… the Giggles… just a wild rzhach.

Ha ha ha… look at his face! He’s got no nose! And he can’t talk (started to distort the words).

Started running, they ran away from him and bellow… blonde took it as a game, started to run after them… Began to pour mockery and name calling in the Rus address:

– You’ll see! He’s got a stick instead of legs! Fu-u-u-u-u-u, he goes to the stick… haha… I saw his face without glasses… ha ha… blah-uh-uh, I don’t want to sit next to…

Nick waited, the parents of the children were silent. Then, perhaps, for the first time all year the mother of Rus did not survive. All the pain and resentment, because of a misunderstanding from ridicule people just because Rus not be outweighed composure and a certain “apathy”.

– I still don’t fit in my head! How? Why allowed such a thing to their children?! I was there for the whole MFC, called for a conscience, tried to reach the mind/mind. I was very hard to hold back, not to stoop to their level, – described nickname the situation.

– I was very sad and frustrating for our “dark” society. We must change ourselves and change others.

Five days later, on June 20, Nike launched a social networks flash mob called on parents of special children to talk about themselves. “I don’t want to live in a society uzkomyslyaschih people, where appearance – based communication. Let’s talk about people with “feature” with the kids / friends / acquaintances / loved ones. Let’s try to draw the attention of all of us!” – she wrote. Under the hashtag #autoslideshow posted over five thousand posts.

“The son taught us tolerance”

28 January Zlobin happened two important and long-awaited event. They came on consultation to the plastic surgeon, “a doctor world” is denominated for a Nobel prize – Hassan Bayevo. He counseled them free of charge in one of the rare visits to Moscow. But while waiting for Dr. nick finally personally met up with Galina and her adopted son Anton.

With Hassan Bakievym

Nick and Galina met at the forum, began to communicate. Galina from a small town near Moscow took your baby from Khabarovsk STUMPS for children with mental retardation, where the boy was not even his name. Called Anton, for the year taught to read and write.

The history of Rus and Anton’s like: none of the potential adoptive parents didn’t look in the direction of the boys. “And Galina arrived and took. Took not because she has “skipped a beat” – many adoptive parents love to write about this “canli” – took because to leave him there she could not! In addition, our stories intersect, we have with Russ is also no “ekanga” was not drafted, because to leave it there, we couldn’t!” – wrote after that meeting nick.

Rustam and Anton

Rustam she calls the “gift child”, but adaptation to the family he was, like all foster children.

– First blonde yelling for half an hour, without tears, going to squeal, nothing could reassure him I should just leave, that’s all. Not liked to be touched, – says nick, adding with a smile: – Now all have passed and I now love when they say, “first put, collect the toys and go for a walk” and he answered: “Well, mum,” and go and do it. No need to ask for ten times one and the same.

Nike is often written by those who want to become a foster parent. The question is one of the photo, to understand that this child is yours. “Chuikov developed probably – jokes nick. – Look at the photo of the child in the database and can understand whether we will be able to live with him in the same area, it is our child or not. Many write that would not have been able every day to look for Rustam, but I care about looks, you absorb a person’s thoughts and his soul.”

To the question whether they were prepared to ensure that the rehabilitation of the Rus is not only time consuming, but and effort, and financial investment, nick meets a concise and firm “Yes” and adds: “We first put taught tolerance.”

Now Rustam with his grandmother and the eldest 14-year-old sister S blood daughter Zlobin, resting with relatives in Krasnodar. About the daughter Nika tells instagram – so they have an agreement. Since September, brown will begin classes at the club for children with disabilities, Nika Yura just want more emphasis on the physical development of his son, put him sporting a prosthesis.

With Ie

Where in Zlobin the generator of energy and optimism, don’t understand even family friends. It seemed the most normal couple, work on weekdays, weekends, walk, go to the movies, go to the country. But the couple decided they may want a little more.

George and Rus

And then there are pillows about Faith

In this place you can put a point, but Nicki remains pain – Faith. Picture of a girl with a large gap in mental and physical development caught Nick in the base at the same time with a photo of Rustam and stuck somewhere deep “flair” on the soul again worked.

Take faith, together with the Rus (permission for adoption was for two children) nickname Yura was afraid – too much responsibility.

Six months ago, four-year-old Faith was transferred to a boarding school, and nick recently saw an updated photo. There was another girl:

She was photographed in the hospital in some wretched scarf or bonnet it was, I do not remember, she was small… face white as a sheet, eyes filled with despair, loneliness, and pain. On the nightstand lay 2 rattles… – said nick again, in instagram. – There are pillows about Faith, but I fear that time lost very much, will not be able to get her out.

But faith in Faith in her ability to open up for those who love – remains a Nike – Rustam was able to.

Hope Prokhorov

Photo: nika_evil_ / Instagram

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