“Shut up and give birth!” – how to avoid becoming a victim on their own childbirth

Flashmob #Vasilievitch in Russian social networks began two years ago – 21 Oct. Since then, hundreds of women spoke about physical and psychological pressure from the staff of the maternity hospital. Post-Soviet maternity care system transformirovalsya slowly. Even in the case of childbirth under the contract the woman is a passive object – it produces strange manipulation, her “poke”, she say down, if ever, condescend to fellowship. Why the staff of maternity hospitals shows aggression and can I solve this problem?

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  • The sun should not rise twice over a woman in labor
  • Childbirth with your husband. Men at birth. (Opinion of a psychologist).
  • Pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood: the emotions of a pregnant woman

“Shut up and breathe”

“I will never be able to forget. Gloomy hospital, unfriendly doctors and midwives, the feeling of abandonment and no abandonment. “What groan? Just stop this kindergarten!”. “A husband to groan!”. “Don’t shout! Shut up and breathe!” is the most affectionate from what I heard in his address when suffered painful contractions.

And what are the rude and humiliating examinations and coercive to lie on his back. It was 11 years ago in one of the maternity hospitals of the city of N. I gave birth to her first child. Decided to get pregnant again and give birth to only 10 years, although I wanted to be a mom to another baby.

I chose a home birth… I’m not repulsed on the head of a sectarian, not naturopathy, not religious. I did it only because did not wish again to go through the same humiliation. I wanted to not touch”.

The shouts, the rush, the formal questions, orders. Public tile, the smell of disinfectant, cold, rubberized buckram. You are forced to strip, wash thoroughly, as if you just crawled out of the slums. You put someone else’s, pull up, hurry, although you are not serving a sentence; you came here to give birth to man to obey, perhaps its main purpose. But now not to lyrics, join in the pipeline.

Same as you, the giver of life, but frightened, trembling, suffering from contractions, act as a working material. Now you object. You can’t run, do not cancel the process. Nature adamant draws you into the maelstrom, prunerov through that pain, agony and hope, you can understand the meaning of all – what is creation, what is love, which is sacrifice. But the people around, whose purpose is to help you in this almost sacred thing, for some reason behave like livestock: “push, cow, look how otozhralis! Shut up and give birth!”

About 40 years have passed since the publication of the magazine “Worker” collections of women’s letters, with the title “be Patient, woman!” – it was a precedent, the first step. Then, the Soviet women were first allowed to publicly protest: not to be rude to the woman in labor, it is impossible to transform childbirth in the animal.

But since then, maternity hospitals of the country have changed little. For two years in public #Vasilievich published more than 850 personal stories about humiliations, which continue to face today’s mothers.

Maria Ushakova

Today we have 12 400 podeschi, says Maria Ushakova, the Creator and moderator of a public #Vasilievitch. Women complain of the irony, depreciation, boorish remarks from the staff of the maternity hospital. This is dedicated to more than 60% of the stories. Doctors justify this heavy working conditions, high workload, burnout. The fact that the feelings get stale, because it is impossible to remain human, seeing the suffering of patients every day. But a mother is not to blame that on the doctor yelled the chief, or his problems at home. That he twenties for a change, and he was tired. We have no system of psychotherapy and supervision sessions for doctors, which would allow them to burn less. A woman came to the hospital for help and are eligible for assistance.

Mode the temptation of power

“All this time with me were mom, we roared together from the horror of what I was thinking, and the doctor even come to see not want while just sitting on a post. Mom said that such indifference is never seen (she’s a nurse, a very sensitive and caring person).

And the rudeness of the staff in all – I still remember how the morning came a woman in a white lab coat, no name, but immediately came up, pulled off my robe and grabbed my breast.”

– Cruelty appeared in hospitals because of the “concentration camp” regime, – said the honored worker of science of the Russian Federation, corresponding member of the Russian Academy of Sciences, obstetrician-gynecologist, Professor Viktor Radzinsky. – The worst for doctors it is purulent-septic inflammatory complications. We all forces and fought with them. But the cause before looking for, not where. We were afraid of infection, penetrating from the outside. Therefore, the hospital functioned as sensitive sites. The woman washed, treated with a disinfecting solution, it goes in supposedly sterile delivery room.

And how many employees ruined health, processing delivery rooms and the house with bleach, chloramines! The ideology of achieving absolute sterility is not allowed the presence of any strangers, any husband. Transmission is transmitted in special bags. In the 70-ies of the women remained in the hospital after a normal delivery, up to nine days! Then switched to five days, and then we 16 fought for years to be able to go home on the third day after birth. This created inside the hospital specific atmosphere. Regime, discipline, subordination of the personal – and here is the human factor.

The closure of maternity wards gave rise to the temptation of power. Doctors justify its rigidity professional burnout, but there is always a doctor, in working time-saving friendliness and even humor, when his colleagues show irritation. The saddest thing is that mania sterility has played with domestic medicine a cruel joke: nosocomial infections have become resistant to antibiotics.

Professor Viktor Radzinsky

– The age of antibiotics is over in 2014, says Professor Viktor Radzinsky. – They no longer work. We changed the tactics – the hospital opened, now the mother can accompany her husband or someone from relatives. We strive to ensure that mom with a newborn as little as possible remained in the hospital, as is happening in Europe. The future king of great Britain, of which Kate Middleton gave birth in April, was discharged from the hospital 17 hours after birth. And not because it’s the royals, but because they are so necessary. And rightly so.

“I’m more important than the doctor – your child’s first take”

“To the doctor and other personnel issues there except a midwife. The Department of family births. Included in redilco to the piercing of the bubble (pereshagivaete start). The midwife from the doorway – could come tomorrow, you all pulled today. Under the shower, on an exercise ball is not allowed. Not allowed to turn on the other side with anesthesia, Portela felt contractions. “I’m more important than a doctor, I’m your baby first take, don’t argue with me.” “What are you doing, push.” Then she to me after the birth Mat cursed for calling mom. Had a catheter, but I was scared of her and refused to go to the toilet couldn’t even though I wanted to the pain. No analgesia or antispasmodics I was not appointed. The second year I go to therapists, but nothing helped. The pregnancy was very desired, in the first lost child.”

Photo: Yulia Goryacheva

– In any profession, there is a risk instead of helping to provide damage – said the co-author of the public #Vasilievitch Yulia Goryacheva. – It is important how people feel about it, what will you do to reduce the risks. We write women from different cities, mostly anonymously, but there are those who points out his name, the place of birth and names of doctors. The situation in hospitals is changing is very difficult and slow. Some paid departments of Moscow and Saint-Petersburg with comfortable conditions for childbirth, but to change the mentality of the staff will not work quickly, it will take years.

Clinical psychologist and family therapist, Director of the Center for systemic family therapy Inna Khamitova explains the peculiarity of the atmosphere of hospitals is the fact that there are often extreme situation.

For organizations that address extreme issues, be they army, emergency, and hospital – have a rigid vertical of power, – explains Inna Khamitova. – Agree that in the army there can be no democracy, it is built rigidly hierarchical. So is the hospital. And the most vulnerable here – Junior medical staff. Often nurses with limited, in fact, the powers allow themselves rude in relation to pregnant women, because they are in such a dependent and defenseless position. The human factor provokes to realize their ambitions for power on those who are powerless.

When there is a “victim”, “abuser” is

The birth process is heavily mythologized. In the old Testament we know that a woman is doomed to painful childbirth, the older cousin to share with primipara his experience, network story also does not add optimism. Therefore, inexperienced woman goes to the hospital, with fear waiting for the promised suffering.

Inna Khamitova

– My grandmother gave birth in the car-a freight car on the way to the evacuation, says psychotherapist Inna hamitova. – Recalled that the Board in the wall was broken open, and much the barrel had to plug up pillow. But she said it quickly with a laugh, because the main concern she had – if only the planes had not bombed composition. And my mom giving birth in the 60’s, talked about their childbirth as something really horrible, though her circumstances were radically different from the Granny. I think I was influenced by one of the second story.

Once I, as an expert took part in the study of the psychological status of pregnant women at different stages of pregnancy and immediately after birth. It was necessary to assess their level of anxiety. So women who are their mothers broadcast the horror of childbirth, subjectively perceive what is happening to them as something very scary.

Those with whom mom shared adequate feelings and tips on how to overcome the pain, the anxiety was mild. And women who are mothers didn’t tell actualized their own fears. And, of course, received the expected with a vengeance.

This means that a very important psychological preparation for childbirth. Awareness, understanding what is happening helps to make a painful period, calmer. Today we know that the feeling of pain subjective expectation of suffering significantly enhances pain.

During childbirth, the vulnerable woman unwittingly plays the role of victim. But if there is a “victim” and “torturer” who wants to abuse her weakness. However, the psychological model implies the presence of “the rescuer”, who hurried to help the suffering. Interestingly, the “oppressor” and “lifeguard” are playing an active role, despite the fact that the “victim” is always passive. Maybe it follows patronizing appeal to women?

“The contractions became very frequent and very painful. I’m already screaming at the medical staff from the pain. But they passed by, laughed, grumbled and drank tea talking! Then came the evil doctor and rudely demanded not to move and not to scream.

Further, when I’m in pain already badly twisted and I no longer knew who I was and where I am, I was told to get up and go in the family room . And there talked to me like I don’t know with whom. Rude, angry and in an authoritative tone. Pressed hard on the stomach (just lay on it together 2 large women!), I already had not the strength to push. Was in pain. And now – my daughter was born, her already zamochennoy in a diaper, put on my belly. Then give to see us at each other and took it away. <…> And then it turned out that the hospital internship students. And at each visit with the doctor came no less than 7 people (the young students of the medical University), doctor when they told everyone in the house to be naked and to lie down in front of all the students, waiting for inspection. Only one was there a good and kind nurse.”

Paid childbirth partly change the balance of roles. Woman in labor in a sense, becomes a partner of doctors, staff feels the front of her increased commitments being rude in this case. And still at the peak of pain, when a woman loses his temper, obstetricians and shout “Platonic”, they say, the end justifies the means. According to psychologists, the attempt rigor to encourage the mother to discipline unproductive. Fear and pain can stop only calm part, but not sharpness and pressure.

Is a cornerstone in childbirth is a manipulation of pain – explains the Creator of the public #Vasilievitch Maria Ushakova. Doctors avoid of empathy to protect themselves from burnout. So, perhaps some of them are trying to convince the woman that she really is not hurt or not so hurt, she says. Gaslighting in childbirth – a common occurrence. 45% of podeschi write to us about the staff ignoring their requests for help. And not just the anesthesia talking. To give the napkins to bring the water to call the doctor, to help to climb on a chair – not if the birth partner, often the woman is alone, no one rushes to help her.

Husband you go from “whore” Madonna

Russia’s first public maternity hospital was established by order of Nicholas II in 1897, “…that women of easy virtue did not give birth on the streets.” Prosperous ladies in those days were allowed from the burden of home, accompanied by family doctor. Later, the Soviet government has provided a qualified inpatient obstetrics for all residents, but perhaps the last century in the hospital remains “low”, vulgarized attitude to women in labor, the denigration of the marital relationship, the process of conception, insults – perhaps for the first time in my life, I heard in his address a variety of women.

The presence of a husband during childbirth as if making the status of women legitimate, says psychotherapist Inna hamitova. In the eyes of the staff you go from whore to Madonna, a respectable mother of a family.

– Yes, no one would dare at quarterback, the official representative of the insult laboring women, adds Professor Viktor Radzinsky. – People are such that the probability of getting back dampens aggression.

Refusal of re-maternity – response to rudeness

“In 2010, I gave birth to a son, everything was good (not perfect, but still), and there were a couple of days before discharge, as ward childbirth put the girl after premature, at 32-33 week baby did not survive. Can you imagine? People lost a few hours ago of the child, and shoved her into the room with four happy newly minted moms who spend days clucking about feeding, colic and bathing!

Words cannot describe how I felt sorry for her, she lay for several hours, stroking my already small stomach and saying: “my boy, my baby” and sobbed wildly. We, too, could not hold back tears the whole house cried for hours.

It’s feeding time. Can’t describe the feeling. Really want to cuddle my miracle, to give breast, to stroke the red cheek, but something inside does not do that in front of this girl is like to eat in front of starving. But here it is not even in my discomfort, and in the reaction of the staff. When past our weeping chamber passed the nurses they said they say again, “enough already”, “already got”.

At our request to allocate to it (the name we never learned, but dared not call for) a separate room, to use in the gynecology, or at least permission to visit her husband, nurses only and stopped us, saying “what’s the smartest here?” The worker grumbled that her one floors in that room do I have to clean! It was cruel to all.

When we wanted to go to the head, we are simply released from the compartment and then suddenly lose consciousness, and then they a bunch of paperwork to fill out, why they have patients in the wards. The girl that did not react to anything during the day, she twice changed itself ititially diaper, not eating, not drinking, and didn’t even go to the toilet, just lay face to the wall. I have repeatedly tried to approach her, to persuade at least take a shower, but did not dare, no one dared, nurses would sometimes come up to us and asked, “well, what is this?” and nodded in her direction. Not examined her, have not given painkillers or a sedative, they knew about it only from our words.”

Psychological trauma in the hospital, manifested first of all in the unwillingness of women to repeat traumatic experience. The rejection of the re motherhood – the most common reactions to obstetric rudeness.

The same time affects marital relations. The fear of getting pregnant is not conducive to intimacy. In addition, after hearing the insults, disturbing women often take them to heart, “stuck” on it. Not only do they start to deny their dignity and attractiveness, even worse imposed in the hospital complex of guilt before the newborn child. “What kind of mother is this, can not give birth!”, “You’re gonna kill him!” midwives convince the woman that it is dangerous for the child and their task is to save him from her. These settings are disturbing women have to overcome a very long time.

In the female nature has a mechanism that compensates for the trauma of childbirth. Immediately after a baby born in the mother’s body is a powerful release of the hormone oxytocin – the woman feels happiness and forget about past pain. But especially vulnerable mothers keep the pain forever.

– I want to believe that this situation is rectified, says psychotherapist Inna hamitova. But, unfortunately, human nature is immutable. There will always be those who want to kick the weak, who will see the future mother of the enemy of her own child. Another thing is that once someone has no skills-treatment to the suffering man, so here we are talking about incompetent.

I am glad that not all nurses are heartless and callous. In obstetrics there is a very good, subtle, attentive people. I’ll never forget a young girl, probably a medical Intern during my first birth was just sitting there stroking my head, holding my hand. And it was, for a moment, in 1989, the most common Soviet hospital. It means that somewhere the human factor and fails. And where he can give up the slack, needs to work legal defense.

Photo: TASS

The incompetence of the doctor – the problem of the mothers

Deliberately disrespectful or rude behavior of the medical staff violates, first of all, moral norms, but it can be analysed and from a legal perspective. Relations arising in the sphere of health, are governed by Federal law No. 323-FZ “About bases of health protection of citizens in the Russian Federation”. Part 1 of article 6 of this law says that the priority of patient’s interests when providing medical care is implemented by adhering to ethical and moral standards, as well as respectful and humane treatment by medical professionals.

Article 71 contains the oath of the doctor, which he promises to be attentive and careful to the patient, to act solely in his interests.

– The consequences of destructive behavior of nurses depend, including, and psychological stability of the patient, – says the lawyer Alexander Dasaev. – The person is already in stress and additional psychological pressure and rudeness on the part of the health care provider to change his health not for the better. Frightened, the patient may be afraid to report worsening of their position, will suffer, as a result, the time will be wasted.

In this case there is a clear causal link between the poor provision or lack of medical assistance and health damages until the death of the patient. And this is a criminal responsibility involves imprisonment.

“My birth took place in the Ryazan oblast clinical perinatal center. In the process of suturing the doctor Cherepalkina O. V. forgot me a huge cotton swab. Complaints of pain specialists post-Natal ward was ignored. The tampon I found myself, at home, on the fifth day after birth. And on the seventh day I was hospitalized in a serious condition in city hospital No. 8 with a diagnosis of “purulent endometritis”.

To the conclusion that the rescue of drowning – the handiwork of drowning, I came, faced with the reaction of medical personnel to the situation. I naively hoped for compassion and humane treatment, and so have had enough. But as it turned out “very stupid, decided to give birth”.

Head of post-Natal said: “it’s your fault for demanding it was necessary to ask for help”. How much more demanding? With five thousandth bills in the envelope?

Alas, communication with health professionals rooted in my conviction that the incompetence of the doctor – the problem and the responsibility of mothers. And so I realized that I have to give birth in the system, where natural childbirth is meant chiseling the child of the woman in the supine position…

I respect all the women who say, “With us you can’t.” And I believe that will gradually change the public consciousness. Not so long ago, and trafficking in persons was the absolute norm. By their activity we can bring our childbirth to the situation where a debility of a medical error and the violation of the rights of the patient are unacceptable.”

Lawyers advise women to go in the hospital, mentally prepared for the meeting, not only with the long-awaited baby, but also with medical staff of different level of education. You need to be able if necessary to show their awareness about medical debt, the requirements of the medical staff. Mention of a written complaint to the administration of medical institutions are now able to sober up even the most thick-skinned employees. Confident and decisive requirement of the mother to comply with the communication and service will definitely work – you just need to be able to keep his composure. But if the staff still crossed the border, the woman was subjected to ill-treatment, offenders can be punished.

– Now almost all over the country there are hot lines for any types of socially important services, – says the lawyer Alexander Dasaev. Calls to the hotline do not remain without attention. You can write a complaint addressed to the head physician of medical institution. Make two copies, one of which relinquish to the office of the hospital, and the second keep – with date and stamp of acceptance.

Formulate your claim in a clear, terse, specify the date and time of the incident, if possible, the name of the person who violated your rights. If the user manifests helplessness or covers your employee, send a complaint to the regional Department of health. This can be done in the form of a letter through a selection on the website, call the hotline or written statements.

The most effective collective complaints. Roommates can act as witnesses, and as independent applicants if they too have been mistreated. Of course, more benefits receive a few complaints of one employee from different patients than the General one. The recipient of the complaint shall respond to each appeal to each applicant. The deadline for response to appeal by law should not exceed 30 days.

If the actions or inaction of medical personnel led to the actual health, you need to contact the police at the location of the hospital.

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