“We need to do it again, otherwise you will be difficult to learn!”, “You relax and go to sleep late!” Attention, after a couple of weeks we will begin to live at the school call the parent and strumming chat and stop to enjoy life. The mother of three children Svetlana Ustimenko says, who prevents the children a positive attitude to school and how to fix it.
Photo: Caterina Labik / labik-katerina.blogspot.com
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For the second or third year as soccer moms I shudder to expect this unpleasant feeling of inevitability. Oh, that’s an ominous silence cool chat! But since mid-August, the focus of parental attention – the alleged problem “with asterisk”, forthcoming, joint with children, lack of sleep, school payment of “tithes”… In General, what made sad by messengers of decent parents!
While you’re still in the power of the normal mode of operation, a walk with the kids, rest, and you attack the feeling that in a few weeks some stupid school would encroach on you and your child. And in addition deprive a family of peace and tranquility.
What about the children? It just seems that they are happily swimming and splashing. In fact – crushed a certain duality. On the one hand, they understand that adults in late summer expect to see a unique excitement in their eyes. And a really happy – if not school, so meeting with friends. But on the other… they hate the school in all its manifestations, you know why? Because I feel not pretend phobia in relation to her parents.
One of the things here, of course, is the already mentioned instant messengers. Children are not necessarily carefully to spy the activity of their mothers, at least – dad, in the classroom and school chat rooms. For them, and so obvious is the fact that their school life-being regulated by from vatsov,!!! and their ilk.
Wanted, say, a child to execute the task in two ways, so no – in my mother’s phone and clicked the message. Most parents, in time to view the content of homework, believe that it is necessary to record standard. The probability that the mother will advise your student to act on his own, is extremely low.
Or another example. New year is coming, and the child came up with the idea to look in the store, with the help of senior gift edition of a beloved teacher. But after a couple of days – back up all ideas. The parent community has spoken through the messenger for a single greeting from the class, excluding any private “pozdravlyalki”.
In General, the idea of self-reliance, initiative, which adults often encourage their children, the children’s eyes crumbles like a sand castle.
From such phenomena (because they are not single!) the child gradually formed the desire not to provide the school in all its diversity for the parents themselves. To distance themselves from it, and even to declare a foreign, hostile territory.
School is Babai
Another source of rejection of school, us parents, and then our children is the juxtaposition of school and life. Here, from the middle of the summer someone from concerned parents trying to repeat with children. In mid-August and it is a massive educational attractions.
For me, interesting the motivation, we can give them to their children, taking them for summer classes. Most often, the focus perforce is on the fact that the intensity of summer classes is inversely proportional to the difficulties that can arise in school.
“My love, it is necessary to repeat what you passed in the 2nd class, otherwise you will be difficult to study in 3-m!”, “We worked on it, Nastus, for a week, and you any problems going to click!”, and the like. Learn? That is, in our replicas, at first glance so natural and logical, predetermined the fact that the school is fraught with difficulties, sorrows, failures.
Well, if you add on here our thoughts out loud, it becomes very sad: “Oh, can not imagine – in 10 days to live by the call, fees, lessons, clubs, And what a “good” man invented September: live here yourself, enjoy life, and then … boom!”…
I repeat: a phrase is justified, even necessary. As, for example, not to recruit children at the end of the summer to restore the educational mode of the day? Of course, it is our duty, otherwise we give the green light to the chaos, the uncertainty in the family.
But only if the little man hears with a certain frequency, something like: “what are you, eternal summer?! In two weeks there will be a lot of jobs, and you relax and go to sleep later!”, the school once again appears in his mind in a negative, hostile to his children’s needs.
It happened in our parent culture: numerous verbal instructions, addressed to school-age children, as if specially sound so to contrast life and school.
It turns out there is real life with its joys and sorrows, but there is still some school is boring, unfriendly, woven with difficulties. It intimidated the same way as in early childhood – the Boogeyman. What wonder then if the children are on the side of life?
Remind the child that, Yes, with Sep load will increase is one thing. And it’s better if the emphasis will be on planning time for that during their studies, too, should be enough time for our favorite things, family trips and so on. But it is quite another thing to pile on the negativity.
So the first thing we can do is to carefully revise your vocabulary, tone of speech, even facial expressions. If you really don’t want to continue to create in the children a fear of school or may be trying to weaken the existing negative attitude towards it.
Otherwise, we will not release the child from a sense of fragmentation. This feeling is due to the fact that, here, Bob-a son forever love mom and dad, and Bob, a student gives parents so many headaches that would be better if this damn school and was not at all!
“So August is in full swing, and you do not repeated”
The universal answer to the question, what exactly needs to be filled with summer school, of course, does not exist. I know that traditionally, parents try to “extract” from Chad of residual knowledge in Russian and foreign languages, in mathematics. But my experience tells me that in the summer you can repeat anything, and not to treat geography, history, even life safety, there should not be.
Oh, no! I do not call in July-August to impose a child with textbooks, I only emphasize that summer is not the same as the implementation of lessons in a school year. Let the baby just hangs around in the kitchen and something confusing talks about school, about the same safety, even recalls funny incidents in the classroom! Can you give two hundred percent – he always speaks from the covered material, and let this is not mathematics! With thin questions “from afar” you can redirect the conversation in a direction related disciplines.
History, geography, life safety, even physics, because nobody is going to argue that these school subjects are actually very connected. Didn’t want son to remember the laws of physics – don’t worry, he unwittingly come to him through the geography or the notorious life safety.
And I was convinced that all questions about the summer repetition on the part of children, pressure from parents – do not belong to the training plane. It’s more a question of trust between the generations.
Before, when I went to school, only the eldest son, I suffered from excessive “canonical”: tried to seat him at the table, spread out my notebooks. Then come to understand that this is not only inefficient, but also unnatural, disingenuous. Instead of trusting communication with your child, not differentiated calls, and circles, appeared a parody on communication. Instead of conversations about life, beauty and harmony of this world – and here is a direct link with the outside world and mathematics – was selling brawl on the topic “is it August already in full swing, and you, shameless, nothing to say”.
Even for the training of the handwriting, you can apply something interesting. For example, to declare a day of silence and everyone in the family to communicate on this day, only in the epistolary genre. But to consolidate tasks for the application of multiplication tables – play in the store. “Behind the counter” interchangeably is an adult, then someone from children. And then invite children to discuss all the difficulties they had encountered during counting, that is, again, focus on communication.
And effective separation of duties when the senior classes with the younger. Well here all: Junior – training, parents – holiday, well, older try on the demanding role of the Supervisory authority. I only had time touching smile, when the boy that I so foolishly engaged in some years, provide tested lessons from a daughter.
Let the child will want to day soon “bubbled”
School year of our children is not only school, but often, additional education. Someone is engaged in circles, sections, “muzykalka” just out of obedience to parents. Someone – because I am convinced that one school is a variant of “nerd”. Someone is totally immersed in the creativity, scientific research, sport – for him an ordinary school becomes an institution.
I guess in any case it is necessary to build the concept of additional education for the coming year. This and planning days – the most and least loaded. This harmonization of training time each child on your family’s schedule. This replacement of one group by another.
Properly thought-out in the summer, the concept of additional education may affect the motivation to learn in General. After all, math-Russian-reading-technology – is shared territory. And, perhaps only finding a small clearing, the child will want to run headlong into the endless field “General” Sciences.
Even if some of the children permanently away from the “art films” or, say, basketball is also an issue that requires planning. No, not necessarily in those five hours a week before student dedicated sportsektsii, you now need “to go grocery shopping, pick from the garden, little brother, to walk the Rex.” Let some time will be given to reading or TV. Personally, I have learned “not to act” even when favorite reading came at the expense of obligatory works. Most importantly – quietly to keep everything under control.
The purpose of any changes or rejection of changes: here, the child wakes up in the morning and he’s scared of us want this day to hurry “bubbled”. No matter here that today two control and then half an hour hopping on a bus to get to the flute and solfeggio.
I often hear that supposedly the child will have no time to wander the streets to look for dubious friends. But I would venture to say (and this is also from experience) that non-formal education is another great resource. Additional activities can make from “resisters” and nihilists diligent students. Don’t really want to learn only a few of children. And the rest – so, the fool.
They don’t like the observance of the school “Canon” – dress code, etiquette, rules, registration works, etc. And everything else in the school for them, speaking their own language and norms. And it is often regular visits to art studios, sports clubs are able to make sure that without complying with external regulations is not a step. Otherwise, catastrophe, chaos. Because you came here not “obyazalovke”, but because, somehow, exciting. But here, in the area of creative expression, sports gambling, want don’t want to follow the canons, study, as did you. Plus the tight schedule, form, discipline, penalty.
Such an understanding will inevitably apply to regular school. If a child is allegedly not willing to learn, anywhere, in the school, do not go, the chances of changing attitudes to the school will obviously be less. In front of him simply did not have the chance to compare and see a lot in common. And hope that the situation will recover itself to the exhaust – the idea is not for the faint of heart. At least, if not by Hephaestus by order of the nerves forges.
Prizrok as the symbol of peace
In conclusion, I would like to tell you about one remarkable incident we have in the middle of summer. Daughter, Kate, a big fan of custard cakes, passed in the second class, casually threw us a note. I must say, the daughter of vengeance has experience teaching indifference of his mother. In saying this, I do not dissemble – in the total cycle of circles recommended “homework” was carried out at us in a hurry, an hour before bedtime.
“If you tomorrow evening do not buy kata custard, then at 9pm you will come Prizrak” – was written there. Then followed by an oral explanation – the Ghost is really scary and not spare anyone.
No, zealous for the rights of the child can sleep peacefully cakes, and other sweets in our family – are not uncommon. Just at that particular moment was “monstrous” pause in three days. So if someone wants to apply to the guardianship, I will advise him to do so in connection with the violation of teeth that live in the mouth of our child.
In the end, the cake we forgot to buy, and “Prizrak” we failed to do so. But what made me really settle down, so is the level of knowledge of the Russian language. To see the marks of the child, even in this single phrase, just one mistake – I wanted to cry from joy! I don’t always have time to test the knowledge of even the most elementary rules passed in the Russian language. And suddenly realized that some threshold introduction to literacy has been overcome.
Here it is, a symbolic sign that tells me that it is time to relax a bit! It is time not only to exasperate the child checks, rules, and rote learning of how to trust in him and simply charge a good mood!
Here it is – the good start to the school year. It is the parent who is not angry at the world, not whining about the fact that there is a “sad time”. This parent believes in the child’s success and convinced that you just have to be there.
The child was sad one to go on the school path, sometimes trying to anticipate what I will write in the chat about his student’s fate “Princess Marya Aleksevna” from the parent Committee. But we are sad to sit in the messengers and grumble. That means we need to go together. And to fill a common way of joy.
And the child, I think, will appreciate it. And how many stories from the summer list of the literature read or how many tasks a repetition of the solved – business already the tenth.