Vladimir and Alla Samoilov live in Kotovsk of the Tambov region. They have four children: eldest son Timothy, 22 years old, Allen in November was 15, van is 11 years old and the youngest Elijah is 6 and a half. Alla grew up in a large family. What is the life of a large family today from what it was in childhood?
Alla and family. Photo: Natalia Yushin
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While everyone is asleep, put the youngest to piano
Alla Samoilov is the eldest of four children who was raised by a dad working and mom is a teacher. Parents to properly provide for his family, worked in two shifts, from morning till evening, raised a family and helped grandma.
So the family did not need, especially to spend their money parents at the specialty store for veterans of the great Patriotic war, home front workers and families. There you can buy cheese and sausage, and jars of baby food.
Products helped and grandmother’s relatives from the village. Toys children even more than their peers. They also bought one (sometimes first – out, a term not very understandable to modern children), and family Bogdanovyh – four. So classmates even came up to play with dolls and Rovers.
Alla remembers how he prepared with his brothers and sister family holiday program for the New year:
– In the output, while everyone is asleep, put the youngest to piano, and we learn a Christmas song. In everyday life – picking up youngest from daycare, and I have them, the difference is eight years.
When I went to walk in the yard with her friends, mom gave me kids. But they especially are not disturbed. We girls sitting on a bench and they close in the sandbox tinkering.
School is school and music, musical-pedagogical Institute, marriage…
First husband went to Moscow almost immediately after the birth of her son, Timothy, and a month later, Alla realized that she was pregnant. The baby was born at 24 weeks, the doctors decided not to save him – it was 1997. Parents Alla took the baby, put, buried. Her doctors from the hospital were not released – as it was not important.
– I survived all this horror is only thanks to the support of parents and the fact that I already had a son. From biological father Timothy after his departure to the capital, there was no hearing, nor spirit. I was divorced without him.
Father of love, and the documents
When Timothy was five years old, she got acquainted with Vladimir, she worked at the center for education of youth, and he, the worker by profession, studied at the evening Department.
Timothy immediately took Vladimir and considers him his father. The more he is father not only in fact love to son, but according to the documents. Vladimir adopted Timothy, gave him his middle name and surname. Of course, Timothy know that somewhere in this world lives abandoned his people, but attempts to find him have been taken.
Two years after the wedding in the family Samoilov has another child.
It is believed that it is especially hard with the first child because the woman enters the new role, learning to realize that requires a baby, how to care for it. But Alla has it, watching younger brothers and sister. So anything new she did not have to study. Really helped my grandmother.
– My oldest child is a child very quiet, was where they put him, out of his will. Grandma will sit down to watch TV, put it next to him, and he sits with her, watching “Santa Barbara,” laughs Alla. – Each child was smarter than the previous one.
When were born the following children, next was and a loving husband. Unlike ally, he didn’t grow up in a large family, and with his grandfather and grandmother in the village, where he, seven years old, parents sent.
For husband’s family – the most important thing in life, – says Alla. – And Oh, how he loves and cares about children – do not pass!
When there was a missed abortion, of course, I’m always very grieved but he suffered, it seems more. And the consciousness that it is also a huge loss, helped me to cope.
“And you’re cut off!”
If the first months of a child’s life Alla difficult not think, about pregnancies says with a sigh. Because they were all heavy, with toxemia, threatened abortion.
In 30 weeks I have always have stood at the ready hospital bag. Doctors and relatives were worried they’d bring, but I was born all the children in time, in the same hospital. The doctors there are wonderful. However, surprised as to discharge the nurse, seeing two mommies – 20 years and 40 years, with first children, and I, 36 years with the fourth, they wished to return, and in my address said: “And you’re cut off!” It is strange that the nurse can afford to Express a similar idea – to have or not to have children.
In General, despite all the difficulties, pregnancy for me – a special time I always look at pregnant women with enthusiasm, with love.
Sometimes Pat your stomach, and there is no one there although once all four of them sat there. The miracle of the origin of life is words can not convey.
When Alla went to give birth, the children stayed with the grandmother and the grandfather, and the husband accompanied. For the most recent birth were on foot – it was winter and the couple decided to walk through the frost.
– Go past the Church and pray: “Lord, not only the doctor on duty who likes to drink!” Specialist it is very high class, but not when you drink. Come, and there he is on duty. Oh, you think you can come, now I get it. But the doctor was sober, did not leave from me and the delivery was just perfect. So the Lord knows best what we need.
Everyone is dancing and singing
At first the family lived with the husband’s parents, then the parents ‘ apartment, and then due to maternity capital was able to change inherited from the grandmother’s husband “kopeck piece” in a two-bedroom apartment.
While the eldest son lived in the family, he had a separate room, the other in Junior. Now he is 22 years old and he moved to St. Petersburg, and a private room was occupied by the daughter.
The eldest, Timothy, graduated with honors from College with a degree in “programmer”, having served in the army, he went to Petersburg to pursue their dance talents – he does hip-hop. The Samoilov family all children are creative, or dance, or sing. He earns his living working as an administrator in the Spanish store.
Alla has worked intermittently for the birth of children and finally returned to work only a year ago.
– Saw an ad that needed a librarian, and decided to go. Adult children, husband and in the material sense to help, and he is all alone, and running, and Calumet, and white light can not see.
At work Alla misses her children – she used to meet them from school, play with the preschooler, then all together to go for a walk…
But the lessons children are helped to do grandma, and hence there are fewer grounds for conflict.
– Daughter – responsible, comes for lessons. And Vanyusha comes, we still have to play, although time is short, he has classes in break dance. And a hundred times we have to repeat: “Vanya, sit down to do homework. Vanya, sit down to do homework.” Younger next year is also in school, you need to teach him to read and write. But he categorically does not want to write in the notebook sticks!
Now if the couple quarrel, most often it is on pedagogical grounds… Daddy loves to spoil their children, and the mother has to play the role of “bad COP”. Interfere dad: “don’t you dare yell at a child!” So, word for word…
– But how long we can stay in the fight. If still in a huge house lived may have dispersed on different corners, but the apartment will not go away especially, have to put up with. My husband is generally forgiving, I can walk, knit his eyebrows…
Do I need to prepare buckets
Alla are surprised when they asked her: “six of You, so you need more to cook?”
– They’re not troglodytes, that the buckets are. When Timothy lived with us, loved to kulinarnych. One salad cook, then another, then a cake of some, the pizzas will bake. And now prepare yourself. All the usual, but prepare to have every day so not tired, and the children are picky in that sense.
Money Samoylov first spend on rent, the loan for the car and the Tutors daughter is studying in ninth grade, ahead of OGE. Then something lay on food, private clubs, and that remains on clothes, toys and some entertainment.
The school PTA does not collect much – needed 100 rubles on the needs of the class.
When Alla was pregnant with my third child, she wasn’t working, and her husband of two months were not paid salaries. But I was able to borrow money, supported relatives and could, albeit very modestly, to live.
– Most importantly – all alive and all together, – says Alla. Rest with God’s help, solved.
The experience gained in the parental home helps Alla to build their own. So, she remembers that mom and dad almost didn’t swear. But now a different time, a greater involvement of parents in children’s cases, and it is wonderful:
– Mother worked from morning to night, dad, too, and on weekends he went fishing, so we didn’t see him. My husband, if you want fishing, we’re going with the whole family. If we can’t all go together, it always boys with you takes. Do the boys always with him. If on a weekend or in the summer, he goes on a job (construction work), it takes and sons, they help him as I can, of course. They need to do something with his father together.
The most favorite time of the day for Alla – evening, when the children, though it is not at full strength, coming together on the big sofa. The senior can call.
– I lie on this sofa, and all around me. We discussed that one happened during the day. If I had long arms, I would so all at once would you!
Photo: Natalia Yushin