Perhaps there is no person who never in his life did not take offense. Everybody knows this bitter feeling. But someone is able to quickly forgive, and someone carrying a grudge for weeks or even can not forgive.
Reading the Bible, I learned that God disapproves of the habit to bear grudges. Repeatedly in the New Testament is a call to forgive: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, forgive you your Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:14). Our Creator wants to teach us how to build relationships. Will talk about his discoveries, taken from God’s textbook of life — the Bible.
Stop the hypocrisy!
Most often we are offended by those who know. I had a roommate who surprised me with his confidence that all my stuff she can freely use. She convinced me to borrow her blender because my more powerful than her. Then she needed my big pot, a vacuum cleaner. I have to give is not wanted, but gave him, secretly hoping that a neighbor will cease to do so. But no. New requests-requirements. And I agree — I don’t want to be “greedy”. But in my heart I’m worried about my appliances.
Tired of this situation, I decided to ask God, “What am I doing wrong? What I am not right? How to change it?” At that moment in front of me lay an open Bible. I read her text about hypocrisy. “It’s about me, Lord?” And then I realized that Yes! Lending is the next thing, I either kept silent or smiled. And, of course, the neighbor had no idea that I don’t like it. But my heart was not ready to share everyone that I have asked. The mask? Hypocrisy? Of course!
What should have been? Stop being afraid to spoil relations and to seem greedy. Quietly, simply and sincerely saying “no” when you don’t want to do something, to give, to talk, to listen. Then you won’t have to hold anger and resentment in your heart.
Ask, not forcing
Another tip that I read in a moment of reflection over another conflict situation: “Where did you enmity and strife?.. have not, because ye ask not” (James 4:1, 2). Here’s what you need! Do not expect that close he will know what we want something gave, embraced, didn’t bother half hour, have done some work… Not to criticize. Not to blame. Not to blame. And to ask! This will help to avoid many quarrels and insults.
You can ask and people and God. Several times. Quietly. Hopefully. With a willingness to accept failure, because the middle is not obliged to do what we want. Do not be offended, even if it is our friend, husband, wife, child or parents. Here you need to look for other solutions. God will not let us down!
Pray for those who mistreat
The fact that people hurt each other — this is normal. We are all sinners. Most often we offend unintentionally. Fatigue. Disease. Hunger. These factors affect tone of voice and mood. Most often the abuser is worse than offend. Jesus in the sermon on the mount offers to pray for those who spitefully use you and bless those who curse us. What gives? Praying for good to the offender ceases to feel himself a victim, deprived, filled with compassion for his “enemy.” Prayer is born of love, restores inner peace and self-respect. Ask for the middle is just what he lacks, what he’s mad at other things: health, good mood, prosperity and mutual understanding in the family, etc.
These are my findings. What helps you not to be offended?