All parents really wants the child to always adhere to safety rules. But teaching it to them, we sometimes unknowingly make it so that he does not remember, does not take seriously does not remember. Tell about typical mistakes and how to avoid them.
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1. It is useless to enforce the rule that you have his eyes violated
The classic example is the grandmother who runs a red light on the transition with the child and tells him: “We’re doing the wrong thing, never do that”. Needless to repeat that we educate not by words but by example. Safety rules – this is something that is carried out strictly in any situation, and no “it’s wrong, but we’re in a hurry”, “it’s dangerous, but we caution” should not be, because in another situation, the child too will come up with an excuse.
Another particular case of such a violation in the eyes of a child – “I can and you no, because you still small”. It’s a shame to hear that a person of any age, especially one who wants to consider themselves great.
2. Do not make safety rules a boring obligation
There is nothing more boring and pointless than a dull lecture on the theme “Rules of security”. And it’s interesting, it’s about this real life that surrounds the child, so it is better to tell him all this when you can be in the described situation (for example, when you go to the station or go into the woods), or to compose together the fairy tales and stories.
Another great way to learn together the rules of the security – stories from your own childhood (children love it), from childhood to grandparents, stories about what happened, what could happen with a joint discussion of what you did right, and what is not. Looking for children’s books, cards, cartoons that will help children in “digestible” form to get acquainted with this topic.
3. It is impossible to frighten the child the fact that it is unclear
Useless to explain to a three year old that electricity could kill him to death is for him an abstract threat, but the “hurt” he was already well clear. As pointless and even harmful to explain to the kid what he should have pedophile.
4. Dangerous only to scare, not explaining how to avoid it
Once aired on radio, where we was leading the conversation about child safety, call the listener and said that in their family the problem of care of five children with a stranger resolved fully and finally. “We just explained to him that if he goes with someone – shared listener, he cut off the legs, hands, gouged out his eyes… and since then have not step moves, with a stranger not talking”.
Yeah, maybe the result is achieved, but there is just that rare case when a side effect of a phobia, enuresis, nightmares outweigh the positive. Telling your child about how dangerous the world in which he lives, you neurothesiometer and at risk of serious problems, both now and in the distant future.
If you are talking about danger, be sure to explain how to avoid it.
For example: to leave the dangerous stranger (little kid enough to hear that he may never see mom and dad, it is not necessary to recount the script of a horror movie), but if a stranger speaks to you, you can say so-and-so, you can go ahead and call us; in the crowd you can get lost, but that does not happen, it is necessary to dress brightly, all the time holding their adults hand, if you missed them, stay in place, loudly call to parents nowhere with no one to go and ask for help to the police, a man with a child and the people who work here, and so on.
5. You should not give the child conflicting information
If mom says one thing and grandma more, if the Pope is not allowed to walk on the ice, and the nurse says, “okay, a hundred times went, and nothing” if mom is strict about games with the wires, and my dad doesn’t pay attention to it, do not expect that the child will learn the rules. If you have other important adults to the child are obvious discrepancies in this, sit and discuss together what and how you teach a child.
6. You cannot shift the responsibility for the safety of the child and to require him of intelligence for his age
To 18 years by law, the responsibility for the safety of the children rests with the parents. The older the child, the less control parents, the more they trust him in matters of security, however, it is strange to expect from kids that they understood the danger of the ice, the open window, height or even worse, provided the safety of younger children.
You can often hear from parents: “How do you that idea?! You could have fallen (to fall under a train, get burned, break something, etc.)! You’re kind of already great…” – time, so not very big, so you might’ve overestimated his intelligence and responsibility.
Little one had in life situations where “adult and reasonable” child did suddenly is that everyone just threw up his hands. The “reasonableness” proved multiple times that he really behaved like it was the most correctly, under the supervision of parents.
7. Do not underestimate the dangers that are statistically most likely
Roadway, ice, pond, open window, door, forest, abandoned buildings, junkyards, railroad – all this is no less dangerous than strangers offering to ride in the car. And here, by the way, we can show the child an example of how we do take this seriously – not only talking with him that it’s dangerous, but do something to protect: call to appropriate services when we see an open door, write to various authorities, demanding to make adjustable transition near the school, sewn on clothes and too – reflective stripe or put on bracelets and charms-flickers, carefully going into the forest.
8. It is pointless to speak once safety rules and to decide what the child knows now
Of course he knows… in the next 15 minutes. Ask him in a couple of days that he remembers, perhaps the result will surprise you. So that he still remembered about what you can and cannot do and how to avoid risks, from time to time return to this subject. Regularly in between to check when going somewhere together, what will he do, if lost, to whom turn for help, remember your phone.
9. You can’t make safety rules routine prohibitions in a number of many other
If the child regulate the dealings with his every move, if his life is a lot of “no”, the likelihood is high that the rules, the execution of which is vital, will be tantamount to prohibition, say, to touch mom’s makeup. Safety rules should be a priority, and the child should know that their violation is the most severe offense he may commit, not an event the same level as the fight with the boy from the garden, two for the control and mom’s powder.
10. It is not necessary to give information for his age
The child is 5 years old does not necessarily know for what purpose it can someone somewhere to lure – moreover, it will inevitably perceive that he is not clear information on their own, probably very bizarre. We can talk about it, and very gently, later, when the child already knows about relations between the sexes, that this is something that concerns adults, and what do to kids.
11. Dangerous to prohibit everything
Forbidding everything from the yard to a private account in social networks – you’re at a certain age will achieve what the child will do what he needs and what you want, but so that you didn’t know about it.
12. It is useless to lie
It is very dangerous to deceive the child “for his safety”. If you do not want to threat eating berries from the Bush, it is better to tell the truth – that they will be very sick and be sick that will be taken to the hospital for a long time, but not to say that if you touch it, the hands covered with sores, and will wear off – “look, I touched once this berry, and now I have a scar” (grandmothers and nannies like that). If the child touch the still forbidden fruit, and nothing to do with his hands does not happen, then your entire education, including the prohibition not to eat the berries, will be subject to serious doubt.
13. You should not construct a direct and inevitable correlation between the event and the consequences
Not everyone who goes on the ice, fall through, but it can happen, so we don’t go on the ice at all since it only takes one, which can be fatal. If one day the child will violate your ban and find that the impact did not come, he may decide that all the other recommendations you intimidate him, and everything is really secure.
14. Do not inspire dangerous installation
Perhaps they lead to the easy and “correct” the child’s behavior in normal situations, but in extreme can kill it. Among such requirements adults include: “shout no”; “cry just rude”; “(all) adults have to listen to”; “around bad people, so no one to ask for help”; “not answer when I speak to you, rude”; “the adult is always right”; “all need help”; “the boy is ashamed to complain” and so on.
In addition, some of the language a child can be misunderstood. For example, we tell children that tattling and convey bad, bearing in mind, of course, a situation with their peers, but they can apply this assertion to some situations with adults, and be silent when they do something unacceptable.
The same applies to the prohibition to break a promise to someone about something not to say: you need to explain that there are secrets good and bad, and if you know a bad secret, you must tell.
Ksenia Knorre Dmitrieva