Before the new year remained 3 working days. At this time, all sum up and preparing for the holiday. And we “Pravmir” also remember the outgoing year. Of course, many of the texts important to us and the road, and almost every person about whom we are told is a hero. But some of the materials this year are key, as it allowed us to change something or drew attention to important issues. And we want to remember them with you. And this is one of the nicest venue we have had all year and we see that interest has not waned. Large families – where they get power, how to cope – these stories inspire and amaze. It was difficult to choose a single text – but we stopped there.
- Dmitry Yemets: Before, we lived only for the children and were very tired
- Mother of 18 children, how many cutlets can eat baby
- The child slept for 15 minutes – I learned how to sleep for ten
- What is most “pleasing” parents of seven children
- “His semem”: large wheels and the main lifehack
THE CONVERSATION IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM
– Ira, you have the first?
– And how much older?
– Yes, I have nine…
– Oh! Cool difference! We are here with the girls yesterday were arguing that it was better – just shoot or sleep after the first normal and the second to go? And you do a super – senior in high school, the first class of this (PI-PI) behind you And – oops – lialechka! The first boy?
– Yes, I have nine children.
– Irina, and you’ve got… nine… you’ve given birth to?
Yeah… not kesar…
– Yes I not about that… it’s all in your nine?
… And you according to your faith abortions are not supposed to do?
– Yes, we seem to have one with you faith, the Orthodox.
– Well, Yes… but… you have a husband?
– Of course.
– No. Priest.
– Kim! With the diaper in office ultrasound!
– Oh, My God… Hello! Count up, we put the nun, so, she is expecting the TENTH child. To them, abortion can not be done!
(Excerpt from a yet unreleased book by Irina Kim)
And you know how to cook soup?
– Alex nursed beautifully, gave flowers, sang songs under a guitar, dedicated to poetry, went to my mother to ask the blessing to meet me! – Irina remembers. – We met at the end of April, and in June went to meet his mother. Once you sit in the evening, and he said, “do You mind if the wedding will be in September, on the Nativity of the blessed virgin?” That’s romantic! And where recognition, offer hands and hearts, down on one knee in the lunar beam? A failure in the program. I was so taken aback that I agreed. In September, played a student’s wedding.
After the wedding, first year living in the country friends mom Irina in the suburbs. Relatives said firmly young to live alone! Lapping disputes: if it is someone “the third”, the spouses may transfer the responsibility to him.
The husband and wife themselves have to build relationships, take responsibility for them. Now, Irina is grateful to the relatives, because no grindings in the first time is not treated.
Irina knew how to create comfort in any place – is passed on to her from moms, a military wife, but my husband, as she then seemed…
– We were lucky, we have one spiritual father. I remember running to him: “Father, what is this! He is rastali, winter living, the jacket on the bed, the hanger will not fasten!” And the priest said, “you cook soup?” “I know how to speak, and he is here so-and-so…” And the priest again: “And you know how to cook soup? So pretty with you!” By the way, my husband just recently said he was afraid for rental housing extra screw to screw, that was not a problem with the owners.
“Where are the children?!”
Irina was sure that the pregnancy immediately after the wedding. Three months was beginning to panic: “Where are the children?!”
The first pregnancy was difficult – in the beginning, the constant threat of miscarriage. Even relatives, in the end, began to say that nothing good is not over. “Who are you then bear? Monster? Like you, forced to clean it! There child left!” – “supported” them.
The young couple were desperately hoping that their child will be saved, prayed the monk Kirill and Maria, parents of St. Sergius.
– The husband, the deacon, a third-year student of the Moscow theological Academy, returning from Moscow, where he taught at the same school, drove to my mother Natalia Nikolaevna Sokolova and shared his sorrow. I must say that my father Alex was the seminarian Alexis from the book “Under the shelter of the most high”, who took care of his father Vladimir in his illness. Natalia gave us their family the mother of God “Helper In childbirth”, telling about the wonders, the former on the prayer before this icon. And here the husband enters the home icon (it is small with exercise book, in Kyoto), and I go forward with the joyous news that the bleeding has stopped! It turned out, at the very moment when he took the icon from the hands of the mother. The icon was with us almost until the birth. Then we took a photo, framed, sanctified, the photocopy accompanied me in all my pregnancies, and many parish children were born with a prayer in front of her.
Mary was born at term, healthy. The name she received in pledge, in honor of St. Mary of the Th.
Heavy was and last pregnancy – pathology of the placenta, and from the first weeks, the couple realized that the situation is difficult. Managed to get the baby to 33 weeks, then surgery, in the end, saved both.
– It was a challenging year for all. I spent my pregnancy on bed rest. The kids with grandma, my mom, who is strict and principled. Baby one year old. She’s the oldest sister, mom’s calling. Then I with a newborn in the Department of premature… When reported from the hospital that I was taken for a second surgery, large blood loss, the husband with the eldest son rode in the car. They immediately went to me, and sixteen-year-old Seraphim cried and asked God to take it, and mom left. Well, it’s all over!
FIRST child. Delight relatives, SMS “keep it up!” and requirements to give him/her a sister/brother.
The SECOND child in a row. Congratulations from relatives in the form of: “it’s good, It will grow, it will be fun…“ or “well Done, one shot out!“
THIRD child. Congratulations-consolation, “well, so-and-so and so-and-so won, too, three, and nothing! But now you have a large, you now the benefits will be hoo!“
FOURTH child. Close relatives say “You are crazy“. Friends wonder how much of the parent capital you received, cease to invite guests.
FIFTH-the SIXTH child – the difference is small. Relatives used to. Congratulations on a full set of family hockey team. Only the lazy don’t give advice on super is 100% contraception.
SEVENTH child. A small revival. “Oh! You now have seven on the benches! Cool! And how are you going to feed them/to teach/to marry?“
The EIGHTH, the NINTH child. Relatives cease to give any advice. Congratulations card and without emotion.
TENTH child. A lot of excitement. Everyone asks what is necessary from the state and why it is still not given a car/apartment/medal.
(Excerpt from a yet unreleased book by Irina Kim)
“Mother, don’t pray!”
Children were born one after the other. When the sixth child was born, the eldest daughter was only seven years old, and no assistants.
– It was, perhaps, one of the most difficult moments of life. Tension, fatigue.
At critical moments, I realized that now begin to yell at the kids, and is not the answer. Then I started to liquidate the consequences of their tumultuous life and sing “Lord, have mercy, Lord, forgive…”. Senior shouting: “Mom, don’t pray!”, – immediately rushed to help, and scream from impotence no longer wanted.
The fifth daughter, Nastya, reception room, she in the family since birth. She is now thirteen. How jokes father Alexei: “We made a challenge to the society that gave birth to the fourth in a row, and his set took the fifth”. That girl is not blood, she had learned in eleven years. Parents are going to say ready, looking for the right moment and words, but ahead of 83-year-old neighbor. Apparently under the impression from numerous talk shows, she approached the girl and said: “You were adopted. His mother and grandmother never goodbye!” The parents noticed that she began to withdraw, to retire, to leave to walk alone. After questioning, was a long serious conversation.
– Of course, she wanted to find mom. We’re talking to her, you pray for her to change her way of life, to God all things are possible. If you find her in the same condition in which it now, you will be disappointed. Or at least the girl need to grow up a bit, to grow up. Blood mother and grandmother know where Nastya, but not looking.
Father – Archpriest Alexy Kim, rector of the parish in honor of the Kazan icon of the Mother of God Verkhneye Sancheleyevo. Mother – Irina Kim, graduated from icon painting school at the Moscow theological Academy. Children: Maria, 18 years, Seraphim, 17, Alexander, 15, Michael, 13, Anastasia, 13, Anna, 11 years old, Ivan, 10 years, anastasie, age 7, Alex, 4 years, Darius, 3 years, Christina, 1 year.
Spin exercise bike you can with the baby on hands
In the family, particularly when this is done, it is important to prioritize, says Irina: what to do first, then what, and by which, in principle, can pass.
– If the dishes are not washed, but my husband and children are fed and not deprived of attention, the day has not passed in vain.
I do not call to grow in dirt, I suggest not to worry. My main rule in recent years: “I’ll do anything but consistent!”
I like the phrase of Dostoevsky: “Man finds time for everything he really wants.” Sometimes our “once” means “feel like, then.” I type notes on your phone while putting the baby, I twist the dolls from rags, while sitting with children, because I like it. Not a very interesting pastime (for example, while the children do their homework, and I am close) I don’t mind. Have a free hour or two, I write icons. This is an opportunity to do what you love, and a way to financially help the family.
In the evening, when the kids are asleep, but the older ones still up, I “hold the Fort” near the little, so as not to Wake you. So at this time I write poetry or communicate with friends in social networks. Even the time to do them you can find not to the detriment of the children. Spin exercise bike you can with the baby on hands, and with a year-old, standing on the frame, checked.
Five lifehacks large family
A few Lithgow:
– Putting all at once into place. To go the extra few steps to spend a couple of minutes is easier than to spend time cleaning and sorting rubble.
– Some things can be done “along the way”. I go to nursery I will take back my Laundry or toys that tend to spread through the house and appear in the most unexpected places.
– Things from the “what if useful,” to form these blockages. Before you leave this thing, we need to soberly ask ourselves: “I’m sure something I’m going to do?” “We sure this is ever going to wear?”
– Some things you can do! For example, I don’t iron a diaper and linens, I do Pat, only that it is impossible not to stroke. Shirts and jackets students land right on the shoulders. If you think that of these cases, optional to perform, but included in the tradition, you can make a whole list. As they say, all cases can not be undone.
– And most importantly. Children annoy us, when they interfere with our plans. If not make plans and just live, enjoy today, then the communication with children brings joy. They grow up so fast! The concerns and worries about the future can you not notice those little consolations with us today.
Worm nick and Know thyself
The school Irina your approach. At the beginning of the school year she helps everyone get into the rhythm – control prompts and so on. Then – observes and intervenes if the children themselves are asked for help.
– All children are totally different, and on school studies light a wedge has not converged. The eldest at the age of 15 as an external student graduated from the 11th class. Entered the budget of the medical faculty in the medical school. Now completing the third year. The second child, a son, Aced OGE, remained in school, the exam found. While mustache is not blowing, and I see that worried. Going into the army after school, goes to the gym, getting ready. Nadia is a very weak student. Well, it is not! We focus on family, she is a wonderful mother and mistress!
Irina tries to make time for every child, and especially one that is now more in need of support.
– Every age needs its number mother’s attention. For little you can not worry, they are a mother themselves will produce. Older children can be given more attention. Do not have to sit with them, playing, cutting and gluing together, take turns as doctor and patient at the reception in the clinic.
With my daughter, helping to peel potatoes or sculpt cakes, you can communicate. And read before catching up on sleep all at once.
Parents believe that it is important to invest in older children, because they then become an example for the younger ones. And did emerge into adulthood confident of parental support. Communication with teenagers, mostly, the case of the head of the family.
– Now the father is embedded in 17-year-old Seraphim. Because soon will flutter our second baby bird.
Sometimes I put the kids go into the kitchen, and there sat dad with his son for laptops. Will go back, but there is a worm with the nickname Samurai, and next the worm and nick get to Know Yourself, both on the floor of the screen. I say:
And shame on you, your reverence?
Her husband replied:
I just want to prove to him that the top is possible without a premium account to log in for half an hour!
– Ugh, – I say – a disgrace!
Some water to drink, the extra light will extinguish and go to bed. And half an hour later I hear, drink tea and talk for life, and not about the worms and the stream. They came in one wave, and now we communicate without interference. The main thing that was a common point of contact. Common interest. Common cause. Fishing, for example.
Now SIM with dad on the guitar apart some pieces and play a duet.
Irina has to act as a judge if, for example, toddlers do not share a toy. In this case it is guided by the principle that time is not shared, let’s not get anyone! And the machine of discord goes somewhere high, for example, on the refrigerator.
When the baby is cranky because he’s bored or he’s tired and trying to hurt those around Irina takes it as a signal that a person urgently needs attention!
Five minutes, and the baby is well again and comfortable. Average girls too, if you are unable to understand yourself, run to the mother.
– The older boys if and fight, then something in passing that I’m not even sure if they quarrel or so “peremejayutsya” awkwardly expressing masculinity.
With the first children Kimy lived by the principle – nothing harmful. Only homemade yoghurts, cereals. Chips, Popsicles and other harm under the prohibition! But the children grew up and began to ask forbidden from classmates. And then the parents decided it is better to buy sometimes than doing all this forbidden fruit. Same with cartoons – the older looked extremely old Soviet cartoons, and the kids, but them, look modern, “Smeshariki”, “Fixico”, “Luntik”.
How to escape from everyday life
Not in the school holidays dad wakes up. Son Misha, which is easier to get up, serve Breakfast. Daughter Anastasia unloads the dishwasher. She quickly gathers and eats Breakfast. The other dad has to be customized. When you Wake up Babes, Irina wakes up six-year-old, removed after Breakfast and put in a slow cooker to cook the dinner, at this time, the kids play around her.
– Then must drink coffee, contemplating the clean well fed children playing on the floor to clean the kitchen and get a positive charge – laughs Irina.
The next stage – with kids, who to school, which connect and kids. They do not learn to read and write, and paint or sculpt.
– While I’m sitting next to the student, can respond to messages, dial a note to do a drawing on the iconic Board small size. I can at this time, to be younger, rolling the pram and doing a hundred sit-UPS. The kids play, the main thing – in time to prevent starting the chaos. Played cubes, remove. If you start to sort things out, engage in the overall game, I give blankets for the construction of houses. Where are the houses, posudka. Played, posudku collected.
With small it is generally easy. They will not climb, chocolate rolls recipe from a children’s cooking don’t cook, don’t try to blow up another explosive mixture or password hack daddy’s laptop.
– So the first half of the day I rest. Well, here and there ototresh something in detail, in the machine again washing let down… not stressing passing and on the machine. Then there’s this “poor little me, life me stuck!” Life I’m not even caught up!
When students come, it has become harder and easier at the same time. Easier in the sense that the kids have someone to watch. I can do the icon. But the consequences of life older sometimes destructive. They in good faith may decide to cook dinner French fries, and whole kitchen will be in the oil. Or on the contrary, assure me that I can go about their business, and they will cook pasta with sausages. In the end, everything will load up sandwiches for any film. One way or another, but chaos in the kitchen the evening provided. Love to cook and know how all the students. And love the oven. Meat and cakes is Misha. Nastya is a specialist in yeast dough. Anya loves to make salads and cookies are recipes that are found in books.
At 21.00 Irina takes the kids to sleep. Anastasia at this time, loads the dishwasher, washes sink, Anya wipes the tables, the boys choose, who will be vacuuming. Before the family had a Rota, and everyone knew what he was doing on a certain day of the week. But when I grew up girls, somehow smoothly responsibilities help my mom in the kitchen were distributed among them. The house is cleared. Especially in their rooms. Children live in rooms of three. Only Anya lives in the nursery so the kids were not alone, but Nastia has its own small room, former kitchen. She wanted – from infancy loves to live alone in the room. The youngest is yet with his parents.
Children and faith
In the family usually children fast from the age of four. But only if the child is healthy and with good appetite. If the child is weak and eats little, and in six years, no matter how he resisted, he would have to eat chicken broth and milk. No, no violence, only persuasion, and now resisting not see himself as he took the spoon in hand.
To the temple with my dad on a Sunday ride, or students, or Irina with kids – someone has to get himself in the car all not to get involved.
– Children are all different. Calm Alyosha in his four years have taken to the altar, and someone to seven years endured all the candlesticks and vases for half an hour, I was waiting for the sacrament. Senior, student, Masha, 18 years old. Coming up for the weekend, when off duty at work and goes to the choir. He confesses to the Pope, advised him in everything. Other courses wrote essays on philosophy, calls up with his father to deduct him of the dogmatic correctness.
Once asked my husband if he wanted to sons followed in his footsteps. He said that his dream is to get into the adult life of faith and chastity. And the priesthood… it is a heavy cross, very heavy.
“In fairy tales and you and dad”
In the winter of Irina and father Alex for half an hour unable to go alone skiing, with a thermos of tea and some chocolate. The spring is to ride the bike to see how the primroses bloom. Fortunately, the older children grew up and can’t have long to watch the kids. Sometimes you just need to talk without kids. Then the elder instructed, “We will not be half an hour. The kids are sleeping. The rest of your. Watch cartoons”. When there were kids, parents were waiting to all asleep, and only then sat down to talk over a Cup of tea.
– Once I had a talk with her older daughter about love. She said to me: “Mom, true love happens only in fairy tales… or you and dad.”
The first what? Love. To marry for love, nobody can. Love is sacrificial service. What were the examples? It’s not “heroically threw himself into the fire and rescued a drowning man”. This is everyday life.
Sometimes people say: “I can’t! Have accumulated!” There’s no need to hoard. Well, it does not close the tube of toothpaste. Well, leave socks under the bed. Well, I forgot to buy yogurt. As all this is small compared to the fact that any day you can lose each other! Know what we pray? To die as saints Peter and Fevronia, in one day. Not to be separated for a long time. Children to raise and die.
Photo: Christina Shevchuk