We believed that our child hates school

Tanya Teichrob said in the blog “Her view from home” as her daughter found generalized anxiety disorder and what are the warning signs we talked about the problem.

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Tanya Teichrob

I would like to understand generalized anxiety disorder our daughter sooner than we did. It was not lack of information, we just have not studied it and believed that our child hates school. After all, our generation is also faced with a difficult friendship, the physical education classes and strict teachers. Even our grandparents had to survive among the “bad girls”. So our girl can handle it, right?

The problem is that sometimes it’s more than just trying to fit in. It is a debilitating anxiety which the child feels that he head goes under the water.

Looking back, I realize that my daughter’s behavior, there were some warning signs, but manifested they gradually and it was difficult to see the connection. In hindsight we combined them together.

1. Pain in the abdomen. Sounds obvious, isn’t it? But what if the school has no obvious issues? It’s not a poison, all good. I know that abdominal pain often occur in children, and do not recommend to run to the doctor every time, but if it becomes habitual, you should pay attention to.

2. Changes in social skills. If your child simply tolerates all group activity and is not involved in them as before, find out why. Our daughter signed up for monitoring Breakfast in the Junior class to never have with your classmates – it lasted a whole year. She also was a willing participant in everything that happened during the lunch break, but would not join classmates in the yard. When she entered high school, she always carried a book in front of him and thus closed paper wall from friends outside the classroom.

3. Comments of teachers. Teachers see our children in stressful situations, which does not happen at home. One teacher said that our baby has started to “shut down and erect a wall around itself” during the lesson. Sometimes teachers see the problem before us and if you are lucky, they will tell you about these social changes. That is one of the teachers first used the term “alarm” and finally gave the name of hatred our children to school.

4. Irritability. When a child feels strong anxiety for 6 hours in a row, he “unstuck” as soon as it crosses the threshold of the house. Now we understand how exhausting it is to deal with anxiety all day, which has reached a critical point in time for lunch. Our child was no longer able to control your emotions. I’m not saying you should tolerate disrespect, because his brain explodes, but try to see the child’s anger, the root of the problem.

5. Sleep problems. People need different amounts of sleep, which is enough for good health. Our daughter always needed less sleep than her siblings, but gradually she began to sleep less and less. Sometimes she woke up in the wee hours (no, she didn’t have her device and she spent a lot of time in front of the screen). She just stopped sleeping well.

6. Children do not get pleasure from things to which you are accustomed. Our daughter has an adventurous spirit, but one summer she began to refuse to try something new or visit places where we weren’t before. Such a change in her character confused us.

7. Cold hands. It sounds strange, but our daughter has always had cold hands during big events. Later, her psychologist told us that in response to stress the blood “leaves” limb and “rushes” to vital organs to protect them. Her body was protecting her vital organs from a perceived stress in the room! Perhaps your child does not have cold hands, but he wears a hoodie while everyone else is wearing clothes without sleeves, or his heart beats faster in a crowd of people.

8. The child is worried about sudden changes. To cope with the anxiety, most people want to know what will happen and who will be there. Any sudden change in plans causes a chain reaction that ends with a panic.

This is not a complete list of symptoms and not a diagnostic list, it’s just our history. If one of these symptoms sounds familiar, please seek professional medical help. If your child is not just nervous, please find a psychologist. The good news is that with therapy and support of family members, the child will regain confidence in life.

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