Family Turchini more than two years of fighting for the life of his daughter Marguerite who became ill with leukemia. They had to go through all possible trials that can bring this terrible disease. But some things the girl’s mother, Elena Trichina, can not understand and accept, even now, after 15 years of violence, persecution and humiliation they faced at that period of life. Elena Turchin – member of the Board of “Union of women of Russia” Pskov oblast, a Trustee of several charitable foundations, social activist, journalist, blogger – says “Pravmiru” his story.
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“This dish does not bring back, unable to throw it away”
Our daughter Margaret fell ill in 2001. On the recommendation of local doctors and diagnosis “lymphoblastic leukemia is extremely rare form” had been sent to Moscow to Russian children’s clinical hospital. View our leukemia was very rare, we were told 38 years this type of cancer in the world occurred.
When the sick child from the disease “cancer”, “leukemia”, as in our case, family life, her usual way not just broken, but completely flipped upside the head. My husband and I were both successful people in our Pskov region. I was Deputy editor of the regional newspaper, Grigory Mikhailovich – Deputy Director of local television station.. we Have two grown daughters, the eldest daughter finished tenth grade and preparing to enter University, and Margarita at the time, in school, in primary school.
We boarded the train it was and went to Moscow. We absolutely were not prepared for a long life there. But we went to the hospital and immediately announced that the period of treatment will be very lengthy.
In Moscow, we spent two years. The first nine months we were chained to the bed in the hospital. My husband was my sole support in that situation. He acted like a real officer in a combat situation (Grigory Mikhailovich – submarine officer, officer of the Order of Courage) is often visited us almost every weekend: on Friday he boarded the train “Pskov – Moscow” and Saturday was already in the hospital. He lived with friends, distant relatives where necessary. Sometimes came along with her older daughter, who missed me. Then, when the hospital had a small hotel for the families, but all seats are not enough, and often they had to sleep on the floor.
We did not take even elementary spoon, mug, pan, and the assortment in the stores was not as it is now. And here the husband stayed in Moscow with distant kin and they brought some old, dirty pots, mugs, cups, spoons they gave us, apparently on the principle of “For you, o God, that we are worthless”. He holds out the circles, but I see that he was very uncomfortable. Ask: “Gregory, what happened? – “I would never go back. They told me that cancer is contagious, that in Moscow it is all speak openly, and that “this is the dishes you don’t bring us back, can it then throw it”. I was very hurt. I immediately threw this dish and tried to forget those words.
“You’re in the office, where 19 wards, and every day someone dies”
We went through all the circles of hell. Five intensive care units, six blocks of chemotherapy. We were lying in the Department of Oncology, which then led to the still very young brothers Maschan. They were in charge of all this area, keep in touch with all foreign clinics because of a bone marrow transplant, typing, obtaining more gentle medicines that allow the child to endure chemotherapy could spend at that time, only abroad. They very clearly understand what you need to do something in this direction: the West has advanced, and we’re stuck in one place.
Just then was created the Foundation “give life” to help children suffering from leukaemia. I personally was familiar with Galina Chalikova. The Foundation staff and the doctors themselves were involved in household matters mom, who lived with the child in the house. A huge thank you also Maschino, who introduced the notion as a psychologist for a mom. We have worked with a woman psychologist, who herself lost a child. She was there, she was talking to us. All the mothers were in a state of prolonged stress. Every day in your arms a child dies. You’re in the office, where 19 wards, and every day someone dies. Today you’re standing in the kitchen with mom, you now prepare child porridge, some kind of simple soup, and tomorrow they are leaving with the coffin. And that’s all.
We were told how the now, to the children to approach, how to cope with pain, how to communicate with younger staff night, what a pain the edge, with what pain we must run to anesthetized, etc. That is, I understand, just then and there were some initial epochal things that eventually led to the fact that many of the children began to recover, that was built in the Center of Dmitry Rogachev, now is not the crumbs gather, and significant amounts.
In some minutes I watched these moms, dads, distraught grandmothers, who did not understand why they did do it. Everyone asked and asked this question: why? No one knew. 90% of the families were broken up – it’s sad and scary.
My daughter cried with resentment: “Mom, I like them”
After all the chemotherapy sessions came some point of remission. We had to look for an apartment so close to the hospital so that in case of attack, we could bring her to the hospital a maximum of 15 minutes. In 2001, his wife died of Gorbachev in Moscow spread the rumor that cancer is contagious. This mild hysteria. In conversations with moms at the hospital I was advised when searching for housing is not to say that the child is sick with leukemia. It is better to say that the child is lying in surgery, gastroenterology anywhere, but not in the Hematology Department. It was humiliating for us.
But the accommodation we found quickly – it was flat on the 11th floor of the building with empty walls. The doctors forbade us to dwell in dusty, dirty, cluttered apartment because the child had zero immunity. At the entrance we rarely crossed paths with the neighbors – most have not moved into a new building. But still in the Elevator we didn’t wear masks and a respirator so as not to attract the attention of the tenants.
In public transport we have already had to wear masks. Margaret then went to the scarf, she had no hair, eyebrows, eyelashes. Looked at us, poked a finger. At first my daughter cried in desperation, “Mom, I’m just like them.” She was 10 years old, and she already understood everything. From the constant pain these children grow up very quickly, and then you get older… I tried to explain to her why this is so, why some people are so cruel. But I’m not in conflict, I just didn’t have the strength to deal with this world – I had to save my child.
People with normal perception of the world and the inner world sympathized with us. In this apartment we came to visit, our friends. We celebrated the birthday of their daughter, celebrated the holidays, went to temples and museums. At that time my husband was the head of the Pskov telecentre, which is part of the holding “VGTRK”. We are really helping colleagues with this channel, got us expensive drugs, for the Margarita they fought as for their child. Helped us all the Pskov region and raised a huge amount of money. I now devote a lot of charity work – so I give your “debt” to all those people who helped us.
“Mom, you know, I think I’m in love…”
It took 15 years, but one case won’t let me. It still hurts. After a brief remission, the disease returned and doctors said there’s nothing I can do. We went home to die. But the child had a disability status, we were given the permit in sanatorium near Moscow – which is already familiar to the doctors of the RCCH was engaged in the rehabilitation of children suffering from leukaemia. Apparently, in order for the sanatorium somehow survived financially, they sold rooms for normal, healthy children.
Why not? The sanatorium was indeed beautiful in their infrastructure. We lived her, like a little separate life, but after some time still all children – sick and healthy – started to play together: run, jump, if you have the strength, even in some joint productions to participate – this is normal. They’re just kids.
At the time my Margarita was 11, after chemotherapy, it took some time and she has grown hair, grew a beautiful, long, dark eyelashes, eyebrows appeared. She was always very open-minded, eager to communicate. She really wanted to live. We were always very close, and during rehabilitation in this sanatorium she comes to me and says: “Mom, you know, I think I’m in love…” – “Well, you give. To whom?” And she showed it to me – the same dark-haired boy as she is healthy, chubby. Indeed, during all the games they were next to each other.
After some time the girl became sad. Asking what happened, and she told me: “He had ceased to play with us. I think its more to enter our country. I saw from afar that he is with my mom about something argue, but she shouts at him”.
And once on the street he somehow ran away from my mom and ran up to Margaret. Stand, about something talk. And suddenly he kissed her on the cheek! Like a farewell. My flushed everything… And at the same moment, somewhere behind us in the street you hear a shout: “what are You doing? They are also contagious! Come quickly!!! I told you many times – they are infectious!!!”. It is heard not only we, but other moms of sick kids.
The same day she and her son left. My Margarita cried for the rest of time, until the end of the shift. She had kids, tried to comfort her, called her out. She calmed down only when her godfather came and gave all the kids with moms big picnic in the Park.
“Why are they so sure that such a misfortune could never happen to them?”
When I first read about the situation of the apartment in Belyaevo, I felt sick. The signatures are collected? I couldn’t believe my eyes – and not fake it. I do not accept this situation. Honestly, I am far from thinking that all the relatives of sick kids – mom’s dad’s grandmother – perfect in everyday terms. In stressful situations people behave differently. That’s life. I think the question on the presence of parents, close relatives together with their children in similar long-term care must be addressed at the level of the relevant Ministry. Maybe it will be somehow compensated for through the regional budget. There are always options.
But there is another side to this story. It is the people’s hatred of their own kind. Why are they so sure that such a misfortune could never happen to them? No one is immune. We also never thought that this could touch us. It’s not just a hostel, hotel or some commercial place. Here the mountain.
People must unite and say: “Glory to you, Lord, that our entrance had settled this… a bunch of grief. I can approach the woman that weeps by the window, or you can just get this guy the father or the grandfather invited him to her house for half an hour and we just sit and talk quietly.” But people prefer to shut themselves away from other people’s misery.
***
We have learned to live again
It’s been 15 years. A life divided – with Ritocco without it. Grief the father-in-law and mother-in-law became ill and shortly after her death died. My mother went blind from grief – thank God we did her surgery, and she began to see. Her 91 year, but every day she remembers a Margarita and crying. Time heals, but does not cure.
The Lord gave us comfort after 40 years we gave birth to our third daughter, Apollinariy. Externally it is a copy of Margarita. If my husband asked about the children, I always say – three daughters and a grandson! We re-learned how to live, to breathe, to sleep and be happy. Our house is full of joy, laughter, guests. Our grandson 5 years. We work hard and we have the opportunity to do charity work to help the churches and monasteries. We have something to celebrate and something to mourn. We thank the Lord for everything.
Prepared By Olga Lunina