While treated Sonia from cancer, we have changed eight rented apartments

About ten years our daughter was treated for leukemia and its consequences. Diagnosed in 2008, Sonya had just turned four years old. We lived in Pskov, the treatment came to the Russian children’s clinical hospital and for the first few years until it moved to Moscow permanently, changed about eight apartments. Some of them made the Fund what we were looking for ourselves. There was a stage when I lived in the dorms, with friends, in hotels. Later on I lived in a boarding house a new center named after Dima Rogachev. How are surrounding the girl in the mask says Igor Friday, dad Sony.

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  • The damage good

The Concierge helped, than could

The owners of the two apartments that we shot ourselves in the street of the Baku commissioners and Ostrovityanova said, “You pay us the money, the rest does not interest us” (meant disease Sony). And one family even began to donate to the Fund “give life”. The landlord Andrew once called me and asked me: “Igor, I now went to the site. Is this the guy? Well then, I sacrifice”. Answer: “Thank you!”.

Remember in an apartment on Union hostess came to check the status and saw that in each room (were two families) were quartz irradiator. She was very surprised and pleased. Even joked: “Always I had such tenants were”. But our kids differently it is impossible: twice a day do wet cleaning, constantly ventilated, dust just not as a class.

Sonia Friday, Anna Zhao, and Ilya Lagutenko, the website of the Fund “give life”

There was a case when I carried the baby in her arms from the 14th floor. We came to visit family in a nearby house, and one girl, also with leukemia was very bad. She was disturbed breathing, started having seizures. But we even then not call an ambulance if the deterioration of the child related to the underlying disease, otherwise soon the rules will be taken to the territorial hospital, not to the center, where we are treated and where will help.

Usually in such emergency situations, families ask a friend or call a taxi and go to the clinic it is therefore important that, until it was walking distance. And then there was just the manifestation of the disease, we wrapped the girl in a blanket, I went with her to the Elevator. The Concierge was terrified that I’ve noticed, but held the door for us, tried to help the best I could. We were met at the car the other parent and brought to the door of the hospital and there are already doctors waited with an oxygen mask and the necessary preparations. At that time, the cost….

The only way to live in the apartment at the treatment site

But then, in 2008, the problem of finding housing had a more than relevant – many Muscovites absolutely no idea what leukemia and cancer in General. I remember how my daughter felt when in the stairwell and all public areas – in transport, in shops, in the Museum – she shied away from people. Children in masks, without hair, because they fell out after chemotherapy, often with skin involvement – for the average person it looked more than strange.

But not to live in such apartments does not work, if you arrived with a child for treatment from a different region. Treatment usually takes place in major Federal centers, and there is a limited number of boxes, and places are sorely lacking. In the period between stages cures – and we had several blocks of chemotherapy, and bone marrow transplantation – there is a time of rest and preparation for the next stage from 5-10 days to one to two months, and sometimes longer.

And if the doctor said that the condition allows can not live in the hospital, you do not need to stay there. After all, the problem and treatment and healthcare to bring the man back to his usual life, and not hide in the boarding houses. Cancer, like any other serious illness is not a stigma.

To return to this short period of home treatment, as in our case, in Pskov, is also not an option – it’s more of a risk to the child. After chemotherapy, the immune system is depressed and very susceptible to viruses and infections. And after bone marrow transplantation even worse – the immune system “restarts” and the body learns to live again. Well, where was she to go in this condition? Therefore, the only way to live in the apartments near the treatment site, in order to be able to quickly get to the hospital, where help.

Had to explain – and understand

As shown by our experience, people generally fall into two categories: those who see sick children and trying to help all what we can, while others try to distance myself, to the point that do not intersect. In this apartment in the South-West of Moscow it is still the older generation and some parties are trying to explain this behavior inertia and ignorance, and I kind of agree with that.

In our life also met older people who didn’t understand the specifics of the disease, but were those who brought food and things. Remember, there was a ring at the door open – there are grandma and grandpa. “Hello! Here are the potatoes and apples. From the country of our. Take” – “Oh you!” – “Take! The kids are sick.”

Some obvious negatives from the residents will not remember. Was detachment, unwillingness in principle to communicate. Sometimes mothers with children, meeting us in the Elevator, cut off, hid the baby behind. In principle, it is also a misunderstanding and a natural desire to protect his home. But in our cases it was solved by talking.

For example, overlap with neighbors in the stairwell and see in their eyes a mute question. Sometimes people voiced it: “what do you have and how did?” Sometimes we started to explain to yourself that this is not our child for you dangerous and contagious, but rather you for him, he’s after chemotherapy depressed immune system, so he wears a mask. In most cases, everyone knew that we are the same people.

The neighbors may not like that people in these apartments often change: living for one family, then another week another, then comes third. We are not always understood the logic of treatment and the apartment seemed to be some station. Again, had to explain. Understood.

Usually in a two-bedroom apartment is home to two families, one parent and child in the room. Of course, we went to visit each other – families that long in one office treat their children, as a rule, closer together and communicate well. And of course, children can make noise, rattle, play as healthy. Then, they are children. And it is good that they do it. I’m sure each of us have neighbors who are sometimes noisy, and there is no difference, disease or no disease. There will always be disgruntled, but visiting people with the disease to blame somehow easier.

Igor and Sonya. Photo: Facebook

Need to be kinder and not to become indifferent

Upon learning this news about an apartment in the South-West of Moscow, I was surprised. It’s one thing when it happens 10 years ago, and the other in 2018, when the mass of social advertising. I think the part in the solution of this problem is needed from all. Funds who rent apartments, is to carry out educational work in those houses in which to live these children. Maybe once every six months to talk about it at meetings of the HOA or hang the necessary information, so that people know. At home, where people relieve themselves – that’s their area of responsibility to inform the local community, but anything is possible.

Of course, parents also depends on many things, and not all mothers of children who are sick, is able to adequately talk with a stranger, because they are in a depressed state. And others never look in their understanding of the situation depends on the personal level of education.

What we can do? Perhaps, to be kinder, not to become indifferent. I’m sure each entrance there is a female or male activists, it was important that there were other people that this activity would be restricted and guided in the right direction.

Recorded Nadezhda Prokhorova

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